Most people are afraid to admit that physical appearance is important to them. Most people reading this would be extremely aggravated that I accuse everyone of caring about looks. I wonder if people are mad because they don’t like to be accused of being superficial, or if they are mad because they are working very hard to pretend it isn’t true. Whatever. I’m aware that there are exceptions to every rule.

The question is, are you a superficial, heartless person if you do not fall in love with someone because you are physically unattracted to them? It’s a twisted question, and it is unfair to ask. Let me explain why. Ally McBeal is currently arguing with her boyfriend because she realizes that he would not be standing there in a relationship with her, in love with her if she were three feet tall. She is upset because she thinks it’s fucked up that he would care about her appearance so much that he wouldn’t be with her because of it. This bothers me. It IS true that she would not be attracted to him if he were three feet tall; however, she is claiming that she would have been. She is defensive. Again, I believe that this is because she is uncomfortable with the cold truth that she would not have pursued a relationship with him had he been three feet tall. I mean, there are people who do not care about looks at all, but Ally dumps men for the stupidest reasons, many being superficial. How can she deny this simple fact?

So let’s look at this…why wouldn’t she have? Physical appearance IS a part of a person. Now, I know this is a delicate issue because this whole beauty running the world or society or whatever really pisses everyone off, but we still need to confront it. People say it’s all about love and chemistry, then it ends up being about wanting the same number of kids. People say it’s all about wanting the same exact things, then it ends up being about the fact that it’s not fun to kiss them. People say it’s about having as many things in common as possible, then it’s about that ONE book or musician that you can’t agree on. My point is that there are a lot of factors involved, and they vary for each and every relationship. Sometimes looks matter. I don’t think that looks should be everything. I don’t think that they should be more important than being able to laugh together, but the fact is a lot of chemistry and sexual attraction relies on being physically attractive to one another, on wanting to touch that other person.

IMPORTANT: Now, when I say “physically attractive” I don’t mean that the person is necessarily the typical American ideal. I don’t mean attractive by the standard that others create. We all have our own ideas of attractiveness. For instance, one day I was walking along Comm Ave when a group of freshmen boys were trying to find an off campus party but were lost. As I guided them towards the apartment rumored to be a party house, one of the boys explained to me that his friend walking beside him has a fetish for girls with bangs. He claimed that the rest of the face and body were of no importance as long as the girl had bangs. I personally have never heard of anyone prioritizing a hairstyle, but as they say, to each his own. Bangs is what this one boy found to be attractive. I’m sure when it comes down to it, the personality really matters because how long can you be with a person who sucks just because they have the right hair? Also, there are many girls with bangs, so personality is going to have to weigh out those girls, right?

Anyway, my point is that there are more important qualities to a person that make them truly attractive as Shallow Hal teaches us, but I think it’s important that we do not lie to ourselves about our own superficialities. I don’t think it’s necessary either to brag about this superficiality. I just can’t stand it when people say that they only care about someone’s heart and mind, but don’t always take the time to examine others’ hearts and minds because they don’t match up to their idea of physical beauty (whatever that may be.)

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