Okay, for those of you who know me well, you'll find this interesting. For those of you who have a tiny grasp of who I am, this will help you to know a little more. I'm generally non-confrontational. I've never been one to get into actual fights, and I think I'm rarely upset with anyone where it requires my having to "have a talk" with them. Sure, we all have qualities that our friends don't like about us and we don't like about them, but it's not often a big deal. I really only associate with people I'd never fight with because all my friends are people that I adore completely and have a mutual understanding with. If ever there were "issues" they would be dealt with lightly and upfront with a touch of humor and warmth. I hardly say awful things about others publicly unless I believe it is deserved.

Now that we know this about me, let's get right to it. (Warning: Profanity will be used at much higher rates
than usual.)

So, I live with the biggest fucking bitch-ass psycho whore named...we'll call her Melinda, so I don't break
any laws here. She knows I hate her, or at least has had a pretty good idea of it since I've known her.
She's a bitch. Straight-up bitch. But she's not the kind of bitch that's a bad-ass, that stands up for
herself, that's strong, that's cool. She's the kind of bitch that most people look at and wonder why we are
forced to share oxygen with her. To give you a clearer understanding of how much she sucks, do you all
remember back when I was in the hospital waiting in the emergency room for my roommate because this
serious psychopath came into his room and attacked him while he was sleeping? This is the dude we got a
restraining order on. Yeah, well, this is his girlfriend upstairs.

She's the kind of girl who would meet your mother and actually tell you out of no where that she believes
your mom sucks. That's how much tact she has. And if you say to her, "Hey Melinda, that is totally
inappropriate, you don't say shit like that to people," she'll start to cry and throw you some
woe-is-me bullshit about her family history. I'm sorry, do I give a shit? Just don't talk shit about
people I love.

Well, I was on the phone last night at around 1:30am. I'm a late night girl. I go to bed late, and I sleep
in. This is my life. I don't disturb anyone, have people over, nothing. However, I'm waiting by the phone for an expected phone call from another time zone, and when the phone rang, I immediately picked it up. Not even a full ring, people. This bitch picks up the mother fucking phone, and tries to scold me - ON THE PHONE, with my friend listening. Now, I said she TRIED to scold me. She didn't get very far. I ripped into her. Told her she was a stupid bitch and to get the fuck off the phone and move the fuck out of my house. (She's moving out in 10 days.) She's all giving me shit about the phone ringing at 1:30am? Are you kidding me? Well, when she and her assaulting boyfriend both lived here, we all had the pleasure of listening to them screaming and banging on shit in hallways at least twice a week for an hour or more. Really pathetic shit. "I'll do whatever you WANT! I don't know what I did wrong!" She'll yell "Leave me the fuck alone," he replies. Apparently, she would try to suck his dick when he was sleeping and he probably wanted that nasty ho to leave him the fuck alone. I listened to that shit for SIX MONTHS. Last night, the phone rang for 1 second, and the fucking skank (sp?) is on the phone yelling at me? Poor bitch was trying to embarass me?? Sad thing. She goes on again about how she doesn't need to be woken up at this hour. I reply, "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know we were only allowed to wake up other roommates by having screaming fights in the hallways with our boyfriends." She replied with a fuck-you, but a fuck-you came flying back at her face. There was quite spectrum of colorful words that came flying from my soul. It was like a goddamn Skittles commerical. Bitch got rained on. Bitch drowned.

You know what she says then? "Lori, if the phone rings again, I will call the police." Okay, can we talk about this for just one second please? First off, can you see this phone call happening to the police?

"Brighton Police Station, can I help you?"

"Yes, my phone rang in my apartment at 1:30am for the
my roommate."

"Okay, m'am. What is the problem?"

"Well...she, she woke me up."

<silence>

"But I have to get up in the morning."

<click. dial tone>

Let's talk about another hysterical detail to that ridiculous statement. Melinda doesn't have a cell phone.

<pause>

Are we seeing why this is funny? How is she going to call the police if I'm on the phone? "Lori, hey can you hang up real quick so I can make a complaint to the police?" What a moron. She never ceases to amaze me with her lameness. Damn, I can't wait for this bitch to move out.

I am a sweet girl. I'm a very reasonable, sweet girl. But you should know when you should or should not fuck
with me. I'm waiting for her to try it again. Try it, girl. Bring it the fuck on.