Things are looking up. I received some of the most wonderful presents from someone quite marvelous, and it's hard to have a bad day when something like that happens.

My mouth still feels horribly cut up. I really think a string is coming out and that really really worries me. My cheeks are all cut up on the inside. How did that happen? How do they get cut up? I mean, they're sliced up everythere. I've only eaten soups and tea. This can't be my fault. Well, they sting like mother fuckers, but I have something MUCH more important to talk about.

Now, I know people who are superstitious. They don't like talking about things that are going well in their lives because they feel like that jixes it. They keep relationships a secret until they've been together for a while. When anything at all is a possibility and is good, they just keep quiet because they don't want to look stupid if it doesn't work out. That makes sense, but you know what? I'm not going to be doing that today.

I received a phone call today that I have an audition for the part of Maureen in RENT on Broadway in New York. I auditioned with them over a year ago just to be put on file. Now, there's an opening and I guess they remembered me, so I got the callback. RENT thought I was good enough to call back. Holy SHIT that's what I needed. Sure, I may not get it. I mean, I haven't been singing that much, and I'm no "pro," but though BMP doesn't like to show that I actually have talent, guess what - I do. I'm going to bust my ass and fucking rock, and really, that's all there is to it. Do I think I'll get it? Well, I have to say honestly, I can't imagine being on Broadway. Shit, that's been my dream for as long as I can remember, and I have a chance now because they think I'm worth seeing again. They think I may be good for the part. Are there better people out there than me? Fuck yeah, but I've gotten this far...a fucking callback for the coolest show out there. That's enough to be proud, and I am. I can't wait. God, I haven't sung for a group in a while. That room is so invigorating and intimidating. Such a mix of emotions, so colorful. Well, not the room. The room isn't colorful at all. It's actually white with hardwood floors. Lots of acoustics. It's impossible to sound bad, which is obviously great for me. It's crazy. It's just you get all scared because you don't want to fuck up. Then there is the side of me that gets so proud and confident. I think, "Hell, I like my voice and I love singing, so check this shit out." I can't wait. It'll be so fun.

I find it hysterical because...it's just me. Last time I was there, I just thought it was so funny I was there. No point on being nervous. I was waiting for them to call my name, I walk in there, sing a song I love that I can barely hit, and that's it. Then I have to act. Now that's REALLY funny. Telling me to do a monologue is the same as telling me to construct a spacecraft. "Uh..okay, here ya go." Whatever, I love performing, so that's what I'm going to do.