I've decided that book stores need to add a new category. You know how it's divided - self-help, health, cooking, fiction, literature, etc? Well, I need a section called, "Books absolutely riveting from page 1." I'm telling you, I find it ridicuous to have to put in at least two hundred pages before I give a shit. I'm keeping my faith in A Prayer for Owen Meany because of its high recommendations, but I'm dying to be thrilled here. I need escapism at its best. I can't have a book that leaves me every few pages drifting back into thoughts about myself. I'll go crazy if I don't find a way out of my head sooner (that involves sobriety), and this book MUST pick up faster.

Okay, so, Oly is kindly, generously, graciously, and creatively redesigning my humble site here, and I have to say, I'm so fucking excited about it that I can barely contain myself. It'll be so sharp, much more mature and sophisticated than this. Don't get me wrong, this is great, and Oly did an amazing job here, but change can be great, and this new one just seems...sharper. I think it's great, and he's going to design it and teach me how to do all the work, and then I'll do it all. You know what that means? I have a project. YAY! I love projects. I NEED projects. So important for self-worth. I remember my sophomore year in college, I was very depressed - typical sophomore slump (not exciting freshmen, not off campus juniors turning 21, not big seniors), and I had a take-home theology midterm that I left for the last night, which is unlike me. Not a last-minute, work-best-under-pressure type of girl. I would go to bed every night before I had to turn in a paper with it all stapled together. Anyway, one would think three research essays would make a person unhappy, stressed. Normally, yes it would. Not for me. That night, it was the greatest night I had in months. Why? Because I wasn't thinking about me, about my life, about my problems, about whatever was keeping me sad those days. I was doing something, working hard, working to succeed, to get an A. You need a project, one that you enjoy. Even if you have a job that involves a lot of projects, if none of them make you proud, if none of them leave you up at night excited about what to do next about it, then you MUST have something else. See, I envy those people who love their jobs, who bust their asses doing something they can't wait to get to. God, that's amazing. Just hope those people get paid what they need. I get to this more in a Thought I'm working on. Anyway, projects - so important. If you can't make a living doing something you love, you still have to do something you love. Even amazing relationships can't fill that role. You need to do something - it's essential in the relationship with yourself. That always needs work. Anyway, I love this site. I need it because I like to write and I like to think out loud - the internet being the out loud part. I don't even know who else comes here other than my friends. Whatever, point is - project = salvation. Happy Lori.