My second job now doesn't start until Friday, which I kind of like only because I can still be lazy and say I have two jobs. Aahh... However, I do need to go in for a meeting. I've heard of these meetings. Apparently, they've been having them everyday before I was hired, and nothing happens at them. I have to leave early just to find parking, so that sucks. I really feel like staying home. It's this damn weather. It's been horrible for days. In the 30s, gray gray gray. It's just been so crappy, I don't want to leave my room. It's depressing. How long is going to be like this?

I'm in a terrible mood. Very easily annoyed. First off, it was absolutely freezing in my house this morning. I went downstairs, and the thermostat was now down to 60. I'm sorry, the line is drawn. I pumped it up to 69, and wrote a note on the dry erase board that it's staying there. It is SO cold out, SO drafty in the house that if people have a problem with the heat being up, they're going to have to literally get through me because I'm about to stand guard and pitch a tent in front of that thermostat. If anyone touches it, I'll kill them. I don't care. Shivering in my own home - it's not fucking happening. Don't want to pay a higher gas bill? Why don't you cry about it? I don't want to pay bills on electricity and gas and phone when I go away for month and don't use any of those things, but I do, so suck it up. I'm not even addressing anyone specific. I don't know who in my house is fighting me on this or if anyone is at all, but my defenses are up because I'm cold. When I'm cold, my heart turns cold too. Good thing I live in New England.

So, I have an unhealthy obsession with British children. I'm sorry, it's like how we feel about cubs in the zoo. They yawn and it's the cutest thing we've ever seen. I don't care WHAT a British kids says - it's cool. I don't care what a British kid is like - he's cooler than me. I need Emma Watson to be my best friend.

Looks like they finally got sensors for those mtv message boards. Can't just rip apart the cast, which is great, just to or three seasons too late. Fine, put three casts through emotionally hell before they figured out how to shut up the mean kids.

I don't like Monday nights. Nothing interesting on TV. It's either 7th Heaven or Boston Public, neither of which I can truly stomach. Oh, I saw Jessica Beal at the movies when I saw Harry Potter. She must live out here or something because I've seen her a billion times. Pretty girl, even without her make-up. I mean she looks normal, not glamous like she does when she's on Letterman or something, but still a pretty girl with really interesting features and good skin. I'm such a stargazer. I wanted to bother her, but I didn't. I pretend like I don't give a shit when I see someone famous, but I SO do. I think it's fun. That's one thing I like about LA. Lots of famous people to look at. I always think it's cool.

I hate that hypocrisy that brews in my stomach about the world of fame. I act so above it, like gossip is bullshit. I pick up a US Weekly or a Britney Spears Magazine and roll my eyes and say with disgust how lame it is, how stupid, how superficial. Meanwhile, I'll read ever page, totally interested in what they're wearing and how pretty they look. I hate envying and despising that whole industry. I thank God for the elders, the adult women - Julia Roberts, Renee Zellweger (sp?), Jodie Foster. I don't have to hate them because they're older than me. But Michelle Branch, Christina, Kelly Clarkson, Mandi Moore, stupid fucking Avril. I can't stand feeling over the hill and like a failure because I'm 23 and without an apartment on each coast, an award on a shelf, and a new car I bought for my sister. I saw an article in Readers Digest about Candice Bergen. She talked about how she regrets how unfocused she was when she was young. She said she was all over the place, and then praised Reese Witherspoon - how successful she is at 26. Well, come on! Reese's life is NOT normal, not even what one should expect from a 26 year old. She has a solid acting career, is well-respected in the industry, is a wife and mother of a three year old (I think). That's kind of too young, if you ask me. I mean, everyone older than me tells me that this is the time to be all over the place. It's the time to be unfocused, to explore options, to date - not marry. I'm not talking about being sluts and going out with different people every night. I'm all for commitment. I love focusing my attention towards one person and my relationship with him. I'm not saying that I'm not getting married and having kids at this age because I'm unsure and think I need to "play the field," but marriage is supposed to about being together forever (right, J.Lo?), and I think that legal promise should happen after a lot of other things have fallen into place first. Date for a while, a long while. The right time will come. Did Reese make a bad decision? Will she find herself at the age of 33 wondering where her early twenties went and want it back? Will she start being scatter-brained and wanting to date because she rushed the necessary time in life when you're supposed to do that? Maybe. Maybe not. It looks like she's got it all together, and she really might, but we won't ever know because we only know what the magazine's tell us, what she says on The View. We can't compare ourselves to anyone if we don't walk in their shoes.

Boston Public - am I supposed to really believe that teachers are young, thin, hot supermodels? Really? Come the fuck on.

I'm stressed. My first job didn't put out the schedule yet, so I won't know my damn work schedule for THIS WEEK until Tuesday morning, which is such major bullshit. They may schedule me for Friday on a double, when I have work at my second job until 6 and my sister's birthday dinner beginning at 5:30. ARGH, I don't know what to do. I'm just so mad that I can't START figuring out what to do because my first job can't get the fucking schedule out before the DAY the schedule begins. As in, people could be working tomorrow night and not know it. I hate that place. I'm so quitting. Maybe I should just quit now. I hate it. I hate them. I don't know what to do. I'm tired of being stressed over scheduling. I want to know what my week looks like and can expect to look for the next month.

I'm gonna go, Katie is here and we're going to watch the first season of 24 over cupcakes and wine.