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Tonight was my
first night back to work after a week of sunshine, and it was
quite a night. I was scheduled for Sunday brunch as well, so
I got home at 2:15am, and I get to return to work by 9am. Isn't
that great? Yeah, it makes me want to kill myself. One of the
waitresses was surprised that this was the first time I had
to do it, so she put an arm around me and let me know that,
"It's even worse than you could possibly imagine."
I imagine it being pretty bad, but I guess it will be horrible.
So, I have some strange news. As it turns out, the owners of
the place where I work are regular visitors to this very site.
I find that to be...interesting. And for those of you who read
this regularly, I think you can imagine the reaction I had when
I learned this information...direct from the owners' mouths.
They seemed to think it was funny, but my brain was rapidly
trying to recall everything I've ever written that I would not
want my owners to read. I came up with a few. My face went red,
my heart started pounding, a broke into a sweat, and I wondered
if I would be fired now or at the end of the night. "Holy
SHIT, what did I say???" Went through my head a millions
times over. Anyway, it occurred to me exactly how strange this
site is to me. I know that there are readers - that it isn't
a journal, but an online journal for every tom, dick, and harry
with a computer to read. I thought I knew that, but I guess
I really didn't know. Before two weeks ago when there
was no contacting me via this site, this really did feel like
just a private journal. Now, I've acclimated to the idea that
strangers and my good friends read it, but not people in my
life like the owners of the restaurant where I work! That's
a whole different story. I mean, these head boss men know what
I've been thinking over the past few months. I walk around work
with a smile, and they know that I've been plotting murders
of my customers in my head. That's just strange. So, I got paranoid
- started thinking that I need to be REALLY careful about what
I say. Then I thought, hell no. This is MY site, it's MY turf.
I'll do a good job at work like I always do. I'll give service
with a smile. But this website is NOT my work, and I'm not going
to sit here on my journal (granted online) and pretend that
busting my ass for tips I may NOT get is the pride and joy of
my life because of whoever reads this. This is about me. This
is where I vent. This is where I share stories about my customers,
about my day, about the ups and downs of it. I do my job well,
and bitching about it only makes me human. If I had the job
of my dreams (don't know what that would be), I'd bitch about
that as well, and why? Because I love to bitch about things
like we all do.
Either way, I suppose I have to start being a little smarter.
I mean, I can still be brutally honest while being somewhat
aware of the fact that people read this.
I would talk more, but my alarm is going off in 4 hours and
45 minutes. An entire Sunday dedictated to being ordered around
for shitty tips. Aahhh...so nice. |
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