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(Sorry, I
just fixed all the typos for this and the mission. Maybe there
are more. I know they're annoying, but I had to run out the
door before checking.)
I am so sorry. I’ve been gone forever, it feels like.
I am in my new place!!!!!! Do you have any idea how fucking
cool this is? It was all put together with plants on the wall
and fish on the mantel by the end of the day that I moved in,
and I feel more at home than I have in years. This is where
I live, and I love it. I have my own little kitchen, my own
bathroom, my own home! It's so great. I'm so happy. I'm also
going to have to break my back to afford living here, but a
broken back is worth this feeling of freedom.
I was supposed to have internet early yesterday morning, but
alas, it did not work. The internet was flashing back and forth
every other second between enabled and unplugged. I called Comcast
and went through a long process of clicking on the same buttons
repeatedly until she said, "There's something wrong with
your computer. It's not us. You'll have to contact your computer
company because we can't help you. Maybe you broke something
in it during your move." Fuck you, lady, I had this thing
packaged in its original styrofoam setup and box. It was perfectly
safe. So, I call Dell. You begin with going through enough automated
touch tone menus than one EVER needs to in one lifetime. There
is no option for internet being connected and disconnected,
so I went through a process of chosing all the wrong extensions
before I finally reach a horribly apathetic woman who doesn't
know SHIT about computers. After talking to her for ten minutes,
she explains to me that she is not a technician (even though
I pressed 1 for technical help) and would have to transfer me
to a technician. First off, what is her purpose if not to help
me? She just wanted to hear what was wrong with my internet
before letting me talk to someone who could actually do something
about it?? So, I'm thinking she's transfering me directly to
the department to talk to someone, but instead, she transfers
me to the beginning of the automated menus. Yes, back to square
one with all the little advertisements before I can even GET
to my touch tone selection process. "Did you know that
with Dell, you can..." and on and on and on. The tears
begin to well up as you reluctantly go through the whole process,
and finally a man picks up with an accent so thick I can't even
begin to understand him. "Doo joo ave de rrrezourzes CD?"
"What??"
"Doo joo ave de rrrezourzes
CD!"
"Do I have the what CD?"
"RRREZOURZES!!"
"Look, I'm really sorry,
and I don't mean to offend you, but I literally can't understand
what you're saying, and I don't know what to do."
After he repeated himself a few times, I realized that he was
saying "resources." This is only the beginning of
my 45 minute discussion about nothing where he didn't think
to speed up the process at all. As in, instead of saying "Go
to the Start menu, then Run, then type in this." He'd say,
"Do you see the Start Menu? Yes? Click on it. Do you see
Run? Do you? Yes? Okay. Click on it." It was a nightmare.
So what happened at the end of the 45 minutes? He told me it
was Comcast's fault and to call them. Now I'm crying. I'm late
for a dinner party with some girls from work, and I've accomplished
nothing. I call Comcast and tell the guy the whole long story,
and he says he'll send someone over tomorrow. They show up today,
and after two hours and cursing and not understanding why the
fuck my computer is doing this and suggesting I have a Dell
guy come over, he finally fixes. Oh, bless his heart. And now
I am back online and ready to get going. I feel tired and sick
for some reason, and I get to head over to my old house to finish
painting my old room back to white. I have to get going on that,
so I'll see ya'll lata! |
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