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Strange morning.
I've been sleeping funny. I don't know what's going on, but
my circulation hasn't been great in my hands. I sleep on my
arms wrong because they're numb when I wake up. So weird.
Anyway, I put the TV on, and it was BaBar. From what I remember,
this is a rich elephant who wears a green suit and a crown.
I don't remember his deal. What, is he the king or president?
He has a family. His wife wears pearls. Oh, wait, just found
a BaBar page and they rule over Celesteville. His wife's name
is Celeste. Nice for her. They have kids, cousins, friends,
and a chief advisor named Cornelius. Weird. I guess they just
exist, and their adventures make up the storylines. Okay, well,
I remember it being a happy show. I remember their little dot
eyes. Here's what I DON'T remember that I saw when I turned
on TV: little BaBar and the elephant tribe were running from
a hunter who SHOOTS and KILLS BaBar's mother. BaBar is riding
on his mom's back while they're running away and she's shot.
In slow motion, his mother falls into the mud (that is now thick
red blood) and screams out to save the children. BaBar is then
lost and goes running through the rows of elephants SCREAMING
frantically "Mommy! Where are you???!!" As he runs
down the line, each elephant begins to cry and bows its head.
He finally reaches Cornelius and says, "Have you seen my
mother?" Cornelius streams tears and says, "Come with
me, BaBar," and leads him to his mother's dead body. BaBar
screams, "NNOOOOO, MOOOMMMYYY!!!" and runs into our
limp arms and sobs. I'm sorry, this is how I woke up this morning?
I did NOT know that BaBar had this Simba experience. God, that
was heavy. Actually, it's more similar to Little Foot's experience
in Land Before Time. God, that one's the best. So adorable.
I then watched Golden Girls and learned something I also did
not remember from the show. You know how Rose had that long
term boyfriend named Miles? He's this college professor, and
they met ballroom dancing. Rose felt stupid, but Miles appreciated
her eccentricity. Well, one day, it is revealed that Miles is
not Miles at all. He was an accountant in Chicago who was working
for the mob without his knowing, and then he was put into the
witness protection program and relocated to Miami. His real
name is Nicholas. Anyway, he came out with the truth when the
big mob guy was killed, but it turns out the mob man is still
alive, so now Miles/Nicholas has to be relocated and wants Rose
to come with him. She has to literally cut off from everyone
in her life. She refuses to do so, so he tells her he loves
her and then runs from her house telling her to read his favorite
poem and remember him. The poem is by Robert Frost and says
something about lost love. I don't know. How fucking weird is
that? Golden Girls can be so strangely serious with their plotlines.
There was one with Dorothy having a gambling problem, then one
with Rose being addicted to drugs. There was one when Rose thought
she had AIDS. Gotta love those Golden Girls. It's so much more
than cheesecake and bridge. Weird.
I'm going to go. Wish me luck begging for money tonight. |
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