This inability to swallow is really frustrating. I feel like like someone went into my throat with a knife and a bad attitude and just started swinging. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears, and my entire head is throbbing. Why don't I own any advil? I used to. Where did it go? You know when your throat hurts and you head hurts and then you cough or sneeze? SO painful.

Tonight was a going away party for this girl at work who accepted a job in her hometown of Dallas, TX. I feel bad that I'm not there, but going back to the place where I work to take in more smoke and have a drink in a loud room - it's not possible. I can't even swallow, and it hurts to talk. Can't go to a party. But I feel so fucking guilty about it. For my sanity, I could use a good party, absolutely, but for my health - I just can't. I need to go to bed.

SHELLEY MYERS...You will be missed. Have a great time in Dallas. It's much warmer there than here.

There's a new show coming out. A Bachelorette where she cannot see any of their faces until she has chosen the one. That's fucking AWESOME. I'm sorry, but you really can't beat reality TV, and I'm not just saying that because I contributed to it. I want to hate every new show that comes out and say, "God, there is just WAY too much reality TV now, it's out of control," but I can't. I love them all. I think they're great ideas. I think they're very entertaining. I'll only want to see the last episode though. Do WE get to see what they look like all along, or will it be a shock to us too? I wonder which would be better. See, I need to know what they look like, but I kind of want to pick in my own mind based on personality.

Okay, I have to go. Dinner With Friends is one of my favorite movies for some reason. I find it very enlightening and inspiring, even though it's really sad.