Well, I'm about to embark on a new phase in my life. Operation MM (Money and Move). I've been living off waitressing okay, with the help of random reality-TV events that pay well for short engagements, but I can't just live okay. I don't want to be back to $0.00 at the end of the month because I have a big move coming up, and I need enough money for the move itself, then money to help me out as I begin my new life over there. I can't go to a new place with absolutely nothing in my brand new bank account. THIS is the time where I need to seriously bust ass to put money in the bank and actually gather something to SAVE for when I need it. It's going to be really hard, especially since I'm not used to working that much. I may be looking at around 80 hour weeks.

Thing is, I know it's more than I need to get by, but I need more than to get by right now. I just spend a solid few months being in hell, getting no sleep - and it will literally PAY off.

I mean, people work that hard all the time, everywhere. They work that hard getting less than I will. Then there are those working just as hard making six figures. As Lorraine tells me, there's no point on comparing yourself to everyone else. "Mind yourself," she says. Lorraine, one of the waitresses where I work, has recently become a strong source of reality. Everything she says makes me feel better, even when she's not talking to me or even about me. She says something wise. They are things that people say all the time anyway, but when you hear it out of the mouth of someone who REALLY believes it, who you can tell has lived it, and (this is just a bonus) has the mix between a British and Irish accent - well, it can really make a difference. I do that a lot...I get really angry seeing people all around me getting good fortune. I mean, I'm happy for them, but I get pissed at myself, at the universe if their fortune is better than mine. I always want to know how much money people made at the end of the night to see if I made as much or more. I always want to know how many speaking engagements people get. I want to know how much people's salaries are. It's totally inappropriate and completely lame, but I can't help it most of the time. I watch people make all this money while having all this free time, while loving what they do, and I'm PISSED about it. Like it's not fair or something. That's why I look at the cast of Friends sometimes and I'm like, "So, let me get this straight: You go to this set with all your best friends, say some funny shit, have a good time, and only work part of they year, and make TENS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS??? FUCK YOU!" I mean, it's great for them. And it's what I want. So, I can't help being a little pissed that I don't have it. Again, not pissed AT anyone. Just pissed. It's really lame. I'm the first to admit it. I'm working on it, but it's hard.

It's exciting, even though I know the excitement will run out before the end of the first week. It will probably run out by the end of the night.

Man, how do people do it? How do they stay positive? How do they have energy?