Wow, have I really not written anything for a week? Well, I've been writing some random, scattered thoughts while I was temping. Here are a few things I meant to post this week. It's BEYOND random.

I think in my next life, if I were going to be an American, I would like to live somewhere in the South, somewhere with a little more space, a little more rural. I don’t want it so spread out, and I don’t want it to be completely flat. Have you ever seen Man in the Moon? It’s like the first Reese Witherspoon movie, she’s 14 or something and all gangly. One of those London brothers is in it too. Well, I’m talking about something like that. Something where you jump into ponds and climb trees. Maybe not something that rural. Maybe a town that Pat Conroy used to write about – just somewhere filled with color and life. Somewhere where the air smells fresh all the time. I think it’s the part of me that wants a log cabin so badly one day. I love the idea of being away from all this crap that makes me feel pretty terrible. I want to be away from feeling competitive.

Well, I think there is not hope for American Idol. Clay is going to win, and we’re going to have to look at him on every magazine, watch him on every talk show, hear him on all the radio stations. It’ll just be bold-faced vowels and consonants strangling us in our sleep. He wasn’t even voted in by his first round. Had to use that wild card. Whatever, I mean, I must reiterate that I do believe he has tremendous talent, but I don’t think this is the place for him. I don’t think I should have Clay Aiken forced down my throat like he surely will be after this is over. It’s going to be hard to watch, if I even end up watching – actually, I know I will. Still, I mean, last year, I was excited to watch Kelly win. This year, I’m just going to be rolling my eyes. I’m super tired today. I don’t have any real down time coming up any time soon. I have to work tonight after this job, and I’ll probably be stuck there until 1am, not making anything remotely worth missing the sleep I’m going to miss. Thursday, I’m going straight from work to the gym to learn this new muscle-defining workout my sister learned from her trainer. I’m not exactly in my best shape, so I doubt I’ll be able to walk for the two days after that.

Today’s one of those days, and I have a feeling it’s going to keep being “one of those days” until the day is past done. Well, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to get cut tonight, and if I get it in my head that I’ll be there until 1am no matter what, then I’ll just take every table I get and pray I make money that seems worth it all. I’ve always talked about wanting to tackle my beliefs on fate. Yeah, I know this isn’t the time, and it’ll probably be some huge piece of writing that will magically appear after reading something really articulate and inspiring. All of a sudden, I’ll feel the thoughts pour from my fingers, and I’ll actually feel like I’m the first person to answer the question, to solve the mystery of fate. Of course, I think it’s impossible to have an original thought, so I know that’s not true. You know, let me digress for a second on that point. Original thoughts: I think I have them sometimes. If I think about it, I realize that someone, if not billions of others have thought that exact though maybe even the exact way I thought of it before I did. An “original” thought should only refer to a thought that is original to YOU or to those who are alive around you. I mean, do you really believe that Socrates was the first person to think of the things he did? Maybe he was the first to write it down, maybe what he wrote down was the first that didn’t disintegrate somehow. We give him credit for his way of thinking when all he did was really “call it”. Metaphorically shot-gunning philosophical theories. But then again, someone has to be the first to think of things, right? What is it called – that idea that everyone has the same basic wisdom in their brain that collects through all human time and knowledge? Collective wisdom? Don’t know if I believe in that either – but I do say that certain things are natural to us based off how “we” acted as cavemen, so maybe I do. God, I would love to really get into this while sitting at a café or something, not while I’m on hold with insurance companies. My mind is kind of racing, and I need to catch it before it goes dull again…as I feel it dulling right now.

I wish TV were better tonight. So bad I watched part of Mothman Prophesies. Wow, that's bad.

I'll write more later.