(while temping...)

I don’t know what God is trying to prove with this weather. I think he’s trying to drive me out of Boston. Well, He couldn’t have picked a better time, but you know what? The last few times I’ve been LA, it’s been chilly. I swear, I’m going to buy a ticket to an island without any plans for when I get there JUST because I can’t imagine being comfortably warm outside anymore. Seriously though. I understand that May is not July, but 40 degrees? It’s pushing it. And I know what He’s going to do too. He’ll keep it cold until we’re all pissed and freezing, and then BOOM!! 90 degrees with 4000% humidity where you just want to peal off your skin because you’re suffocating (like that Shel Silverstein poem), where you can’t sleep because you’ll drown in the pool of your own sweat, where you almost feel like panicking about how hot you are, but you’re afraid it’ll make you hotter, so you just put your head in the freezer, or you take a freezing cold shower, and drip-dry naked hoping you’ll stay cool for at least long enough to catch a nap. That’s what He’s going to do. He’ll have me wondering what was so bad about 40 degrees anyway.

So, tonight is my last night working at the restaurant. You know, the one I so mysteriously stopped talking about one day. Yeah, that one. Well, my time is up there. I feel like I’ve seen it through for quite long enough, so I’m headed on out. Now, I’ll have my day job, and my new weekend job for the summer. That should do.

I sort of feel like I’m dying today. As I’ve said, the weather is pretty bad. I’m absolutely exhausted, and easily irritable. This computer I have to work on at my day job is so slow that I feel like I might as well be taking these notes with a quill and inkwell. We should be sending pigeons to the companies rather than using this system. It’s driving me insane. You try to do two things at once like close a window and open a new one, and the whole thing freezes for like three minutes . I don’t know what I would do without my lamp. These fluorescent lights will the death of me. I saw that commercial with Gweneth Paltrow and Cameron Diaz talking about how they want to save the world or something, and they talked about the end of global warming if we all used fluorescent bulbs. Now, do all fluorescent bulbs have the same color and hue as these long ones in work buildings? Because if they do, then there would seriously be no point in ending global warming because it won’t be the environment that kills us – it’ll be ourselves from the chronic depression we will all be feeling from these bulbs. Seriously, I’d rather light a million candles and revert to the 1800s than use these damn bulbs because I can feel my soul slowly withering under this blue, buzzing dreariness.

I used to love when it was rainy and ugly out when I was in class in high school. I think it was because it would upset me so much to be inside if it were a gorgeous day out there. Probably because all I was interested with the sun was getting a good tan. Anyway, when it rained, especially rain when it is really warm out, so that the pavement begins to steam and cool, and the air smells thick and rich with new life and a promising summer.

I’m developing a new bad habit. Rolling my eyes. It’s so obnoxious. I don’t know if there is anything more obnoxious than that, but it seems to keep happening (I say that like I have no control over it). I guess I’m starting to realize that there are a lot of things that merit eye-rollage. Basically, if you interact with any human being on earth, you’ll find that rolling your eyes is often quite appropriate.

Actually, people can impress and enlighten me as much as they disappoint me. I just talked to this woman on the phone for this follow-up call I had to do for this place where I work, and she was so kind and patient in dictating to me exactly what I needed to inform the company (some glitch in an insurance language I do not understand.) I mean, there are people out there who just by their greeting you feel at ease and completely unthreatened (a word?). Then there are people who you go up and greet or call and they already seem ready to start a war. They don’t understand what you’re talking about, they are annoyed that they have to talk to you at all, they act like you have personal history and they resent you for something you’ve done to them. I mean, what’s the big fucking deal? If I’m your waitress and ask you if there’s anything I can get you (BECAUSE THAT'S MY JOB!!!), then can you at least have the decency to reply? I mean, even to say, “No thanks,” or even a “no” and not just sit there staring at me like a deer in headlights like I asked you to solve some Good Will Hunting equation without using paper!? It’s gotten to the point where if it’s late and I’m cocktailing, I say, “So, is there or isn’t there, because everyone is just staring at me and I don’t know what to do.” Then everyone looks like I just woke them out of sleep and they say, “Oh, no, we’re fine,” and they laugh a little.

Then there are the assholes like this one guy I dealt with when I used to bartend at a club. He kept ordering the same thing every time he came up – Black Label and gingerale “easy on the gingerale.” I make his drink, I make it look like it’s easy on the gingerale, but of course it isn’t because I’m new and I’m not about to go breaking any rules, but the guy seems happy enough, and he nods enthusiastically while the drink is poured. He asks the cost, hands the exact amount to me, and then winks, and walks away. I’m sorry, does he think his wink is worth something to me? I poured the drink like you like it and you don’t give me a fucking tip? You asked me to give you MORE than I’m supposed to just because you want it and not because you’d make it worth my while? I mean, do people really not understand this exchange here? That’s like going to a restaurant that is full, asking the host to sit you before the rest of the people waiting, shaking the guy’s hand, and instead of slipping him a $20, you fucking wink. Are you kidding? Why do I want to help you out? What’s in it for me? This is a business, buddy. You don’t get shit for free, and you deserve to be SLAPPED for the wink. So, he keeps coming back, and he never tips, but he keeps on winking. So, by his last drink, the guy got a big old glass of gingerale with some floating fumes of black label. I’m sorry, but that’s how it goes. That’s how it goes anywhere. You want service at a crowded bar, you fight for it, but you won’t get a damn thing with winks.

Wow, this computer is really getting to me.

(7pm)
AAHHH!!! Another came into the restaurant because she thought she was working, so I just went home and she took my shift. I'm done with that restaurant! I have a free night to do whatever I want. I have to change the water in Jack and Tyson's tanks. I want to buy some beer because I haven't had beer in my own home in forever, and I sorta kinda want it. I'm going to clean some more.

Okay, I have a question about salt water taffy. I've never had it, and I know it's supposed to be some bizarre, coveted candy that people get in Atlantic City or something, but really, what the hell is it? It's super-chewy, right? Now, what the hell does it taste like? I mean, is it stupid that I think it takes like salt-water? And if it tastes like salt water, does that taste good? I mean, who doesn't hate when you get salt water in your mouth? Don't get it. I'm going to have to try it.

I'm watching Friends. Do you remember Mona? That's Ross's girlfriend during the time Rachel was pregnant. She sucks. It's definitely the character, but I think it's the acting as well. There's this scene on this episode for Valentine's Day where Mona asks Rachel to leave Ross's apartment (not knowing that Rachel lives there). It's unbelievably rude, and I kinda hate her. Of course, it's a temporary character on a sitcom, and it's ridiculous to care at about it all, but I just wanted to put that out there.