I've been writing, but never posting, so here's some of the tid bits I've written over the past week or so...

7/25/03

Things are moving quickly. Time is absolutely racing by, I cannot even believe it. This was by far the fastest summer of my life. Things are falling into place. It’s going so fast, I don’t even have time to think about what’s happening, which I know is a good thing. In times like these where your whole life is about to change, thinking too much may be detrimental to your mental state. But the being busy now is not the most important part. It’s the being busy once I get there. If I get there, and I spend a week making the apartment perfect, and then I’m done, all chores done, bank account set up, belong to the gym, walls all painted, furniture perfectly in place, food in the fridge, and I don’t have those job interviews going well, and I have every minute of the day as downtime…watch my head explode. It won’t be a pretty sight. If I have so much time that I have nothing to do except think about where I am and wondering what I’m doing – wow, it will be a very bad thing. Too much thought is always a bad thing.

Now, completely unrelated in every way...

My question is, exactly what is the distance between you and the person behind you that qualifies for waiting and holding the door for them? See, I wish no one would hold the door for me unless I’m literally right behind them, and I’m already touching the door. It’s like, the person will be 20ft ahead of you, and he’s holding the door, and now you have to burst into a full sprint to get to the door so this guy doesn’t have to wait too long. I mean, all of a sudden, you’re doing him a favor, when you just wanted to walk at your own leisurely pace. Then, (and this happened to me this morning), there is a double situation where this one guy way ahead of me holds the door, making me do some stupid spastic skipping thing to hurry up and get in, but then there was a girl coming towards the door that is about the same distance I was when the guy held the door to me. What do you do now in this situation? You were mad that he held the door making you run, so part of you wants to not put the person behind you through the same thing, so you just want to go, but you’ve already made eye-contact, and this person watched the door get held for YOU. So, when you really were a good enough distance from both people to be able to just walk to the door, open it yourself, and let it close behind you, you’re running to catch the door, and then you’re sitting there waiting for this other person to run to the door. Why does it have to be this complicated? And now we’re all thanking each other like we’re all the greatest most generous people, but really, all of us were annoyed that we had to deal with it at all.

A weird twist to this is when you have an elevator right there in the lobby as soon as you walk in. See, you may be going in, thinking maybe there’s enough distance from the person behind you to just not hold the door, (or maybe you didn’t look so you wouldn’t have to worry about making the decision because you pretend like you don’t know there’s anyone behind you at all), and then the heavy door closes kind of slowly, so really, just as it’s about to shut, the person has to swing it back open. The awkward part is now you’re both standing next to each other on the other side of the door waiting for the elevator. This means you totally had the time to hold the door for the person, but you just didn’t. It’s like when you race around someone in traffic and speed ahead of them only to have you both stopped next to each other at the red light with the person looking into your car thinking, “See, asshole? How far did cutting me off and speeding actually get you? Right here at this fucking light next to me.” Man, that sucks.

Here’s the other problem I’ve had to face recently. All around my area is permit parking. It’s really the only parking there is, so I got a permit, and now I drive around looking for an open spot at the end of my every day. Problem has been that I live near Fenway Park, so the place is always packed with cars. All the spots are gone, and I’m thinking, “I doubt that all the people with permits all happen to be here when there is a game.” Obviously, people are taking their chances on getting a ticket just so they can hurry up and get inside Fenway. Now, they don’t get towed if they’re without a permit. They just take up all the spots that I went down to city hall and waited in the line from hell to get permission to get a permit SO I could park somewhere. So then I literally have no where to put my car, so I have to find a shady spot, and then I’ll wake up with a no-parking parking ticket on my windshield. Check this out though – to park illegally in a permit zone is a $40 ticket. To park in a no-parking is $55. So, these people ILLEGALLY take up all the spots permit-parkers are allowed to park in forcing us with into spots that have no parking. I have to pay $55 because some guy took my spot that he’s not allowed to be in, and HE only has to pay $40??? HE should be paying me the extra $15 if anything for putting me in a position where I have to park illegally and get a ticket. That shit kills me. It’s out of control unfair. Fucking tow the bastards. They’re not allowed to be in those spots.

7/29/03

I’m sorry. I’m not sure what my problem is with updating this site. I’ll even write something and then refuse to post it, for no reason. I can come up with a solid psychological explanation for my hesitation to post if it helps. The simplest explanation is that I’ve been busy, and that is definitely a fact. I haven’t been sitting around my room much at all. I’m barely there, as it seems, and when I am, it’s time dedicated to either cleaning the mess I keep making coming in and out of the apartment searching for clothes to wear that aren’t so incredibly out of style that I want to vomit, or I’m sleeping, or trying to squeeze in Will & Grace (which I’ve hardly seen in a while, and I think I’m getting depressed without my Karen and Jack.) That complicated explanation that I’ve been talking about is most likely due to the desperation to keep most emotions held inside. I haven’t felt like expressing that much. I haven’t felt like putting anything out. It’s been about keeping everything in. Reserving as much as I can. I’ve never been so excited to go somewhere while being so terrified to leave in my life. Sucks like that – whenever you go some place, you have to leave wherever you were. Isn’t there a way to make it so you’re in both at the same time? Astro projection – when is that going to be a norm? Well, not I want my body there too. Fine, well then why can’t we be beamed? I could live in LA, and still go out to dinner with my sisters and mom. I can go out to the bars in Hollywood, and then hit up Faneuil Hall late night. Man, the future is so cool.

7/30/03

I’ve reached a whole new level of boredom. Let me explain here…my job did have a major purpose before, but there were some changes made in the company that consequently left everyone with a fraction of the work they had to do before. But I have even less than that. My job is SO insignificant at this point that when I leave on Friday, they’re not replacing my position. Yeah, that’s says something right there. So, I just sit here all day, searching for things to do on the internet, but that’s been boring me worse than everything else.

I’ve resorted to reading message boards on soap operas all day. I’m becoming addicted, and I don’t even watch the shows. Well, sometimes I do. I’m realizing how small the casts are in soaps. I mean, they’re huge casts, obviously, but all the people the exist in their lives are right there. You look at a show like Friends, and they may have only 6 characters, but every week they can bring in a guest star to play a new love interest. In the soap world, it’s like, “Which of these three girls will I date now?” I mean, they don’t have many options. And if they’ve dated them all, then the magically become siblings through one weird switched-at-birth situation to another. And if they’ve dated them all but are not later siblings, then there’s just weeks and weeks of reminiscing the times they WERE dating, and then thinking about getting back together with them. And if that doesn’t work out, throw in a murder. I have my opinions on them. They’re totally fresh since I haven’t been watching the show like most have. Seems like a lot of these soap fans have had long term relationships with these characters of about 15 years. I used to watch Days when I was younger, I think 16. This was when Sami and Lucas were trying to break Carrie and Austin up. That was when Hope was Gina and they were trying to figure out if she was really Hope. I remember talking to my friend Michelle about it. She and I were so into it that it was just ridiculous. She wasn’t sure that Gina was hope, and I’d be screaming, “Hello!!! Don’t you remember when she hit her head and then was all, ‘Come on Bo, let’s go get Shawn Douglas,?? she was SO remembering her being Hope!!”

Now, it’s a whole new thing. I can’t get into all the story lines. Too many. I used to love Jack and Jennifer when they were just getting together, but now, it’s like if I wanted to watch a talk show, I’d watch an actual talk show. Still cute people, but the plotline is hurting. Bo and Hope – haven’t had time to invest in that one. I’m ALL about Sami and Lucas though, I couldn’t tell you why. I do like when they fight though, but lovers quarrels will be entertaining enough for me. Tony and Lexie as brother and sister? Who are we kidding? Then there is Salem, “the next generation,” or “children of salem.” Here’s what I don’t get, are Brady and Chloe supposed to be the same age as Mimi, Shawn, Belle, Rex, and Cassie? According to www.dool.com, Chloe and Belle were friends in high school? Belle and Chloe couldn’t look farther apart in age. This was the issue I was talking about before, - Philip was part of a love triangle with Chloe and Brady, and now he’s in a love triangle with Belle and Shawn. Doesn’t that seem strange just because Chloe and Brady seem significantly older with a significantly more mature relationship than the Belle/Shawn pairing. I mean, Brady and Belle are brother and sister, right? Well, if I were Belle, that would mean that I’m secretly hooking up with the guy that my older brother fought against for my old high school friend. Whoa, that’s just so weird. Wait, let me look at that from another angle. It’s like if I were Philip, I’d be fighting him to win the affection of this girl, but then I said, “Fuck it, you can have her. I’m going after your little sister.” SO weird.

But there are details you just HAVE to love about soaps. For example, those two love triangles were complicated enough on a romantic level. Now look at the biological relationships within these two love triangles. Days fans will be the only ones who can follow along with this, but even so, you should read this JUST to witness the intricate relations in soap operas:

Couple 1: Brady Black and Chloe
Couple 2: Belle Black and Shawn Brady
Point that makes them triangles: Philip Kiriakis

Chloe – not related to anyone
Brady Black – daughter of John Black and Isabella Black.
Belle Black – Daughter of Marlena and John Black (but once believed to be daughter of Marlena and Roman Brady), but is named after John Black’s late wife Isabella who was Brady Black’s real mother.
Shawn Douglas Brady – Daughter of Hope and Bo Brady.
Philip Kiriakis– son of Victor Kiriakis and Kate Roberts.

Ready, here we go…(and I could be wrong here). Victor is the source of a lot of these family relationships among the love triangles.

And let me begin by saying this is additionally confusing because for SOME UNGODLY REASON, they named a key character Brady as a first name when the four main families in Salem are Black, Brady, Kiriakis, and Dimera. Why not have Belle Black have a sister named Dimera Black, and why not have Cassie Dimera have a new brother named Black Dimera?

Victor Kiriakis is father to Isabella Black, Bo Brady, and Philip Kiriakis. (Bo’s last name is Brady because it was originally thought that Bo’s father was Shawn Brady, but it turned out that Victor was his real dad, but he kept the name last name Brady, which is very strange.) This means that Bo and Philip are half brothers, and since Shawn D. is Bo’s son, Philip is Shawn D.’s uncle. (Phrased better – Philip is Shawn’s father’s brother). Side note: Because Bo is really a Kiriakis biologically, then Shawn D. should be named Kiriakis as well. They are not Brady’s (only by the maternal side) Because Victor is father to both Isabella and Philip, then Brady Black’s mother is Philip’s sister. Philip is Brady’s uncle as well. Belle and Brady or brother and sister through John Black who is NOT blood related to Victor, but is his ex-father-in-law because of Isabella. This means that Belle’s ex-grandfather in law is her boy-toy’s biological father.

Yeah, it all VERY NARROWLY escapes being incest. The big picture: Philip has been duking it out with his nephews for girls.


...that's all I had. I'm SO sorry because I'm sure it's jammed back with errors. They'll be fixed after my special friend reads them and points them all out to me. I just really wanted to get this posted.