I'm having a really hard time finding a coffee shop. All through college, I went to the Espresso Royale right off of campus by the T stop, and it was perfect for me. Especially my sophomore and junior year because it was just a few steps from where I lived. I went there for every piece of homework, I think. During finals, I'd set up camp and be there for like 8 hours at a time. It would get really crowded and that would piss the shit out of me because I felt that since I was a regular customer, I should never have to lose a seat there because someone one day decided to study there like it was a novel idea for finals. I went there to write in my journal. I went there when I was sick and wanted a hot cider. It was a great place. Then when I graduated, I felt stupid going there. It wasn't like some regular coffee shop with all kinds of people. It was mostly students, so going there and drinking coffee while everyone else was with their text books and laptops, well, I felt stupid. Can't explain it. I was upset about it too.

So, I drove around looking for a coffee shop to replace it. Never happened. Luckily, when I moved into my last apartment in Boston, the set up of my furniture really transformed the once useless couch into the ultimate reading spot. It was perfect. Wasn't good for writing, but great for curling up with a book.

But now I'm out here in LA, and sans reading spot. I've driven around forever in search of one, but it's hard to look for a tiny coffee shop while you're driving around LA. People are crazy, and you can't actually slow down to look at the stores. See, whenever you want them to go slow, they drive like maniacs, but whenever you want them to have some initiative, like when they're trying to make a left turn, they fucking sit back like assholes and don't even inch up because they know at least THEY will be able to make the light once it turns red. But I digress...

There are no Espresso Royale's in California. In general, I think it's dumb when a chain exists in the world, but doesn't extend to LA. Come on. It's LA, everything should be here. Whatever, my point is, now that I haven't found one, I think I may have to resort to Starbucks. God, I think that's horrible. Now, I do like Vanilla/Coconut flavored lattes, but here's the problem, you always get the to-go cup. This would never be a comfortable place for me as long as they sort of always hope you're on your way out. That's not inviting. I need a place that has nice music, has both little tables AND a couch/chair/lounge section. And, I need a place that has glass cups and mugs for the people who want to settle in and get some good reading and writing done.

Yesterday, I went to Farmers Market, thinking that might be a good spot for me. No good. I finally just sat down at this big, long table and started writing because I couldn't handle looking for a spot. I was doing okay. It was a nice temperature, and the sound of everyone around me was pleasant, but then I hear, "You writing a novel?" There only a few chairs away sat an elderly man, maybe in his late 50s, with a dead on stare in my direction. "Um...no, I'm not," I replied with a smile and hotflash because it didn't seem like that was all he wanted to say.

"It looks like you're writing a novel."

"Yeah, I guess. I'm not though," I smiled again, but immediately returned to my journal so as to not invite more conversation.

"You could be a writer, you know." See, how would he know this? Because I'm writing in a little Barnes and Nobles journal, I could be a writer? That's not even a smart way to get a conversation going. It's just random, and now I'm feeling frustrated. First of all, I'm creeped out beyond all creeped out just because he isn't looking at me, it's like this DEAD ON STARE, as I said before. The kind that feels slightly violating, even though you're sure they guy's okay.

"Maybe, but we'll see," I said back. It's finally silent, and I think he's given up. I mean, it's not like I'm staring off into space. I'm head down and writing something. I'M BUSY. If I were sitting at a bar just sort of twirling the olives around my martini glass, then I'd understand the approach, but I'm obviously concentrating on something here, and he keeps interrupting me, even after I give a short but polite response before shoving my head back into my book. But as soon as I think it's over...

"Cup of coffee?" Sigh. Now, what's going on here? Am I supposed to think this just happens to be a nice old man who wants to offer me coffee while I write? Or is this some creepy ass dude who is sort of asking me out? Part of me wanted to accept the offer just to find out what HE actually thought would happen here. But of course, that part of me would NEVER have a say in what I do. "No, thank you, I'm fine." And it ended. Nicely. Without problems. Without complications. And Farmers Market will not be my new reading and writing place.

So, back to square one.

Sorry I haven't written much, but I just haven't been inspired. I'll open up this program to write something, but nothing comes out. Nothing at all. Maybe if I keep reading more, I'll feel more compelled to write. It's a shitty feeling. It's hard to feel inspired unless I'm surrounded by education. I wrote some great things when I was supposed to be studying for a test or something. Now, it's like, another day rolls by without anything to share with the world.

I'm going to the gym now though. Lates.