Posting a new entry here is such a bitch, especially when it's a new month. So much tedious work to do. Sometimes, I lose motivation to post just because of it. Let me remind you that I had a new post up yesterday. So, check it out if you haven't yet. I feel the need to announce these things because I post so rarely.

So, I want to say something here. This current Road Rules - I don't know X-Treme or something totally unoriginal in title - is great. I don't watch it every Monday night religiously because I'm a Saturday marathon type of girl, but it's great. Those kids are not overly dramatic, not assholes, not embarrassments to their families. They are cool, normal, functional human beings. That girl Kino (I think that's her name) - she's great, and not to get so involved, but I'm pissed she's gone. She was so great to watch, don't you think? Just ready to do every mission without acting like some fucking badass, like she's so rough and tough. Just ready to do and do it right. I hate when girls try to act like guys. Seriously, I almost don't want to watch it now that she's gone. I just hate the idea of that chick not getting the big prize at the end. She should get one anyway for going out like a champ. What serious bullshit is that? I'm tired of this voting off crap. I want to invest in the characters here, especially if they're actually worthy of it, and then they disappear because a car stalls or whatever? That's crap. I hate it.

Oh, so I got some emails about what job I was doing when I first moved out here that had me not posting at all. Interesting time in my life, my friends, for more reasons that I care to mention. There were details of my personal life, which I won't go into here, but let's just say they had me writing in my actual private journal. Then there was that job. Oh my God that fucking job. I've checked the web, and no one has commented on it, therefore there were no posters who ran into me while I was doing that job. I'll tell you about it now though....

I had referred to it as Direct Advertising, and yes, that is what it was, but for those of you who don't know what that means, I'll put it for you plain and simple: I was a door-to-door salesman. No fucking lie. Yes, for five months, I spent 50 hours a week walking around LA neighborhoods from the guetto to the country clubs in a suit, come rain or shine, selling shit door to mother fucking door. Yes, I would walk up to your house, ring your doorbell, and then give you a whole song and dance, then try to get you to buy some shit from me. There are few professions more humbling than this, and especially during those moments when I knocked on doors of Real World fans. "Um...I just saw you on TV, why are you selling coupons at my door right now?" The embarrassment. The humiliation. Not because I'm above it, because I'm not, but because...because it felt like begging sometimes. Well, let's be honest, sometimes it was. Sure, I was selling decent things, but it's very difficult to face things like angry dogs, door slams, and pissed off mothers because they just got their baby to go to sleep before I knocked. SOOOO many great stories came out of that experience that I was dying to share, but talking serious shit about your job while your in it is asking for trouble - particularly when your managers know about the site and read it. I didn't need to go through that again.

I had this one day on the job that was just ridiculous. Here's the deal: I was selling this "VIP card" (aka coupon) for car washes on a day that was rainy. Yes, I'm walking around in my suit for 8 hours straight in the goddamn rain WITH an interview, which we called Day of O (Day of Observation - this is when you take someone around with you to show them what the job is so that they can see for themselves if they can handle it). Okay, so it's raining, we're on our feet for 8 hours straight, and I'm trying to convince this dude that he should take this job. We sell these things for $26, making $10 commission for each card we sell. I convince this woman to buy one, and now I'm trying to get her to buy two by offering a discount. I offer to sell it to her for $45 instead of $52 (which would leave me making $13 - and this is stupid to begin with). She says no, but then says, "Well, I'll take two for $40." I'm miserable, wet, cold, and embarrassed, so I agree. As I'm walking away, I realize that selling two at $40 instead of $52 leaves me with $8 commission on selling two cards - $2 LESS than I would have made if I sold ONE card. Fucking asshole, I was. Now, I can't even believe this happened, so I pretend it didn't, don't explain to this guy with me that I just made the stupidest mistake, and we walk up to the next door that has a little shit of a dog sitting outside tied to a chain. I bend down and say hi to the doggie, and it jumps up so it's front legs are up on my leg. "Oh, hi little guy," I say, feeling better because I love dogs, until I notice that the dog is peeing on my leg. This fucking dog is taking a piss on the pants of my Limited suit. I couldn't even be upset. It was just too ridiculous. I call my two favorite people I know in LA to tell them the story - both of which had worked with me at this job, but both quit only two days before . They are hanging out, drinking together, enjoying their new freedom, and feeling so horrible for me, but laughing their asses off. Unreal. This is only one of millions of stories I have from this job.

Now, I went door-to-door 50 hours a week, but 25 more hours that week is spent going into the office, teaching and learning how to sell, having meetings, driving to and from the locations where we were selling. When you are walking (but most often RUNNING - SPRINTING) 50 hours a week, by the time you get home (sometimes 11pm or later), you don't have time to write on the website. You don't have time to have a life. And trust me, I didn't. I ended up losing all the money I had saved from the hard-working summer before in Boston. No good. I left, was out of work for two months, then found the job where I am now. And I am happy. Thank God, I am happy with my work. Beautiful office, salary, GREAT people I work with, really awesome bosses. Things are so much better now. I'm lucky.

Why did I even take that job, and why did I stick with it for so long? It's hard to explain. It's about running your own business, and the system is very good, and works for many people, but it wasn't for me. It wasn't what I wanted. And having a life is very important to me. Okay, I don't exactly have a life right now, but I do have time for one if I ever get it, and that's nice too.

Tonight I'm looking into this one apartment I want more than anything. It's in a haunted building (this isn't confirmed, but there is NO way on earth it is NOT haunted - you'd understand if you saw it), and it's where I want to live on my favorite street, it's in my price range (or just a tad above it), it has parking, lots of space, lots of light, built-in bookshelves, and makes me happy. I'm praying I get it. For some reason, the landlord wants me to look at it again, and wants to go over my application again and discuss the perks and negatives about living there. Sounds a little shady balls to be honest, but I want that place. I'll keep you updated. Then I'll post my address so you can all send me house-warming gifts like dishware, bar stools, a kitchen table and chairs, and maybe pitch in for the Levitz couch to match my chair. Actually, nah - I don't think I was to post my address.

Oh, and I've gotten some emails asking about if I plan on doing anymore challenges. I would if I could, but I'm now an official member of corporate America - and I have to accrue paid vacation. And those vacation days will go to actual vacation and seeing family. Don't know how so many people have a whole month to kill, but I'm not one of those people. No Challenge is worth losing my job and having to start over looking. My resume is shit enough as it is. But I'm not completely out of the media world yet. Look out for a 2005 calendar for Reality Women. Yes, I jumped on that bandwagon. I feel like I'm supposed to be embarrassed, but fuck it - I'm not, I think it's fun.

I don't think Brittany Murphy should be a blonde. I also think she needs about 10 more pounds. What color would be good for her? I can't decide. Maybe a brownish red - light, but just not blonde. I can't decide how I feel about her either. I hear some horrendous stories about how she is off camera. No question that she's talented, and I think it's strange that one gets bigger if they do romantic comedies. They're not exactly as challenging as "I'll never tell...". I LOVED her in that movie with Drew Barrymore (another personal favorite of mine). Drew is the best. Just a gorgeous, normal-looking woman. I think she's totally glamorous. I think she has a lot of feminine power - whatever that means.

Okay, done babbling.

I'm out. Talk to ya lata!