So, how am I? I've been better. In fact, anything other than this time has been better. I'm really sick, even sick to my stomach, actually. I go back and forth between total aching and complete denial. And when you feel this way, everything looks and feels different. Everything feels wrong, and I feel so incredibly exhausted, but I can't sleep. I just lay there wishing I'd pass out, but my head and my chest hurt so much. I guess you just get sick and then get better, but when you're sick like this, it's hard to believe ever feeling okay. When you're sick like this, it affects every second of the day, and it's all surreal. (But look, I used the word "affect" correctly, right? Thanks for taking the time to teach me.) So, I'm sorry that it has to be this way. I'm sorry it has to hurt so much so that I don't feel like talking, and I can't be myself...because when I'm sick like this, when I feel this fucking ill, this unhealthy, I don't know what it means to feel like myself. Because everything is...off. I'm going to try to relax now. I'm going to watch some Friends, but even that feels...wrong. Like it's missing something. I never thought that Friends, American Idol, and AFV would make me feel worse. I need to try to eat something.