Valentine’s Day is looming. Miserable piece of shit holiday. I started to write and then remembered that I already had written something in the Incomplete Thought section of this site a couple years ago called A Day For Lovers…NOT. Pretty much said it all there, but V-Day has reared its hideous head once again, and I’m stuck here feeling obligated to discuss it.

I know sooo many broken hearts these days. I don’t know if it’s something about Valentine’s Day that makes people fall apart – pressure, fear, whatever, but if I had to count how many hearts I know that have been broken recently (either by their own decisions or a decision made without their consent) – it would add up to a whopping 10 people. TEN PEOPLE in my life alone. I’m sorry, but that qualifies as an official shitload. 5 different couples from all walks of life: work friends, old friends, new friends and then even “Rob Lowe.” It’s a tough time. One of my work friends and I may be gathering on V-day to cry over The Notebook or something kind of sad and cathartic like that, who knows.

It’s a tough time. A lot of people feeling a lot of pain. A lot of people saying the same sad things, asking the same hopeless questions between whimpers and crumpled tissues. I've asked these questions myself, and it hits real close to home. Tell me if you find these questions familiar:

“Why did this have to happen? How long will it feel this terrible? How will I ever get over this? If it’s a good thing this happened, then why does it feel so fucking bad? How will this person ever understand how I felt about them? How will I ever get through this? What if they forget about me? What if it never IS okay? How will I wake up without feeling that aching inside? Why does this shit have to happen? How could any of this make sense? I don’t know if I can even do this, it hurts too fucking much.”

These words are all around me, and I’ve absorbed them into my skin. And I feel them heavy, cold, and hard, and I can hardly keep my eyes open because I’m exhausted beyond explanation. That shit hurts.

Let's address lighter topics. I need to discuss American Idol. There's so much to say, I just don't know where to begin. I'm completely overwhelmed by how many comments and opinions I have. Let me just list the people I like so far, and there are probably more, but there are just too many. I like that Vonzell chick. Happy smile, great voice, and she looks like the black Jennifer Garner. I like the red-headed guy who wore the hat in his first audition and sang that Harry Connick Jr. sounding song. I like that confident 16 year old from the Vegas group. I don't think that 16 year old with the sick mom should still be there. Sorry, better people in that competition. I like that young farm girl, the blonde. She's just great and sweet. That Mario guy has a ridiculous voice. I think he's secured his career just from his performances thus far.

The young Asian chick from the Vegas audition with Brandy - the one with the fishnet body suit, SHIT that girl annoys me. Powerful pipes, but she acts like she's 11 years old. I think there may actually be something wrong with her. And the bitch can't get the words right and pissed off her group members who were 100% in the right. I'm SO glad she's gone. Maybe when she's 60, she'll finally have the maturity of 24 year old and she can audition for American Idol 265 once they've raised the age limit for senior citizens.

I want to talk about the three guys who all forgot their words in their performance but made it to the next round. I have to say, I'm happy about it. I think those three all have great attitudes and good spirits, and they were being a little to bold picking a song that challenging, but Simon KNOWS they all have something great to offer, and I want to see it. Sure, it makes no sense that they went through considering their performance was non-existant, but I don't care. I fucking love those guys. Mostly that I Left My Heart in San Francisco guy, who we've renamed Young Santa.

Marlea - the single mom who ended up quitting once she made it through. Adorable-looking chick, but that song she sang that got her through before she quit - I just thought it was a terrible performance. I don't understand. But you know what? I'm happy for her that she went home. American Idol is big, but that doesn't mean it's her dream. Her heart wasn't there, and she's a mom now. That's her role, and it's a beautiful, brave role, and it's a mother's choice. I think it's great that she knows what she wants and that's to be with her son. Good for her.

Oh, you know what's weird. I checked the stats for this site, and Tuesday is the biggest day of the week for visitors. Every single week, the ratings for Tuesday is ten times higher than the other days. I'll try to be sure to post something new every Monday at least for all of you. Oh, and for the 412 of you who are reading this at 3am - GO TO BED!!! I'm happy you're here, but I'm worried for you people. That's really late. Oh fuck it, nevermind. I'm happy that you're here.