I woke up last night at 2:30am and couldn’t get back to sleep. What is that about? I don’t think I was even stressing about anything specifically. I don’t know that I was even stressing. I just remember lying there thinking, “What the hell is wrong with me?”

Have you ever had a moment when you feel another time in your life as if it were the present? I know that I’ve discussed this in regards to listening to an old song I may have played over and over in high school, but yesterday I got that feeling all day with no music. I was in New York. I could remember perfectly what it literally felt like to be in New York walking around the streets. I remembered the taste of the air, the exact sounds of the subway. I miss that city. It’s just such an amazing place. I feel like life is more real there. I feel alive there. This is not to say I feel dead everywhere else, but I just feel as though New York and I have had our own relationship for many years. I think back to when my friend first moved to Queens, and how it felt a million miles from my home in New Jersey. I thought it was so scary to be a New Yorker. Of course, only several years later was a driving back and forth from New Jersey to Queens on a daily basis. I remember the bars we went to, our favorite Karaoke bar in Union Square. I could go for a walk in SoHo and grab a diet coke and a hot dog with ketchup and sauerkraut from a vendor for $3 total. I would love to find one of those small cafes and sit outside at one of those tiny tables and just watch people walk by. What a wonderful, wonderful place.

I have a long weekend ahead of me. Wondering what to do with it. I want to see Constantine. I was thinking of maybe going to a museum or finding a great coffee shop to set up camp and get involved in my new book. Since I’ve been searching for the ultimate coffee shop for over a year, I’m not feeling too optimistic, but I’ve got a whole lot of time on my hands. I should just hop back on my bike. I’m just feeling a bit overwhelmed. Too much computer, too much TV. Too many of the same damn thoughts over and over again. I want to go away so badly, but alas, there is $9.31 in my bank account. I have a check to deposit, but getting to the bank is about as impossible for me as getting to the post office. It just doesn’t happen ever or for any reason. Okay, I’m promising myself to get to the bank and the post office THIS WEEKEND. Ugh. I just need to do it. ARGH!!!

Vacation. MMmmmm…it’s such a beautiful thought. Packing up bathing suits and dresses. Including Coppertone in your toiletries. Fresh towels in the hotel bathroom. The shower after the afternoon at the beach when your skin in tight and brown, and your hair smells like salt and sunshine. Catamaran trips, oysters and Sauvignon Blanc, and tropical fish.