That one girl was right - she got no air-time and it totally worked against her. But yes, her song was very pitchy. Sucks though. There are girls who did worse. As far as Sarah though - she got a LOT of airtime, is a pretty girl, and I thought that would be enough to put her through. It wasn't. Truth is - she's not as talented as the others and her song went VERY badly the other night. But watching her sing an upbeat song when she was so upset and pissed - absolute torture. Last performance, girl. Make it count. Then that fucking girl grabs her arm to dance around with her while she sang her last song, and Sarah was NOT having it. How humiliating. Physically painful.

I was DEAD ON about the guys though, right? I was proud of myself. All about airtime for the most part.

All that standing up and sitting down - all that back and forth, and get in two lines, and go back to the seats, and you're safe, or are you...what WAS that shit? So ridiculous, and I hope they know that and don't do it again.

Anyway, I had a great night last night. Went to a birthday party at my new favorite restaurant that happens to be in the Valley. The Valley - doesn't feel like I'm allowed to be there. Like I have to stay on my side of the hill. Hmmm...

I've been hanging out with a lot of girls recently and it's been SO awesome. I realized at work last night why I feel SO at home there. It's just like my high school. Small group, all girls (for the most part), working hard. It's Oak Knoll. YAY! Then last night being with all girls - I'm just so comfortable like that. Some girls feel weird about groups of girls. I know so many chicks that only have guy friends, that feel threatened or just plain uncomfortable around girls, but I think it's awesome.

But speaking of uncomfortable...what the FUCK will get my ass to the gym? After work, I want to run home and snuggle into my chair in my apartment with my boyfriend Tivo. I don't want to go running. However, last night - I was sitting there in the "dangerous close" Valley at the dinner table, and I thought about how uncomfortable I was...I mean literally. My pants were pushing so hard into my belly. My shirt wasn't covering my sides. I saw the digital pictures and my face looked so goddamn round! Fuck. I'm going to have to find some discipline here, this is just terrible. My fucking clothes HURT. And it's not about what other people think of me. Honestly, my I'm-fat jokes and grabbing my fat has made for great material to make my friends laugh. I've been totally enjoying it, and the strangest part - it doesn't make me feel insecure. Not even a little. I'm not worried about what men think because any man I'd have in my life would have to adore my body no matter how it looks. I will NOT be judged. Any man who thinks or says that I need to work out (as though it would make me more attractive) - fuck them. I'm damn lovely when I'm fat.

I have to go to work now. BEANTOWN, HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!