Oh God, there is just too much to talk about. Too much. I'm sorry, everyone, but I need to discuss American Idol. I have a whole lot of other shit to discuss too, so skim past if you don't care about American Idol. Firstly, Vonzell was the only one singing tonight that actually gave me chills. I was just sitting there, and the hairs went up on my arm. I'm sorry, but that's magical. She's just a fabulous person all around. I'm over Celena and Janay. I'm sorry, but just bad. Just bad. Celena - her voice just didn't sound solid. Fine, she has range, but...whatever. Janay is so fucking scared up there, it's UNCOMFORTABLE watching her. Amanda - she's beautiful. She has a voice. I think she's a club performer. She seems sweet, but she's missing the magic. I just don't care about her. But she did well tonight, so I think she'll be sticking around. I was sad after Carrie's performance because I knew it wasn't impressive. There's more there, and she better stick around and take that advice. She can do better than that, and I think she knew she was picking an easy song. Mikalah - she's a star. She's just a star and she may make it really far, if not all the way. She took ALL their advice, and DID it. Amazing. Amazing. Okay, I know I don't know everything about music. I know I don't have perfect pitch, but I've been singing forever in chorals, madrigal choirs, and a cappella groups where harmony and pitch is essential. I can hear when someone is a quarter of a pitch sharp or flat. Randy was wrong. Aloha was RIGHT on key. She was not pitchy in the slightest. In fact, I was watching her thinking about HOW on pitch she was. Randy's been wrong about this before. I'm sorry, but I will stand by this - she WAS in perfect tune. Lindsey - she's pretty, but this wasn't her week. I'm glad to see she's not asleep, but I don't think she's American Idol quality. She needs to work what she HAS, which is a smokey, deep voice. You can do a song that moves quickly that features that. She's on the wrong path. Jessica, she's not my favorite, but I'll say this: when she started singing, it sounded so solid and clear, I thought it had to be a recording. That's saying something, but she doesn't excite me. Nadia - something's missing too. I haven't liked her songs, but I was really routing for her after her first audition. Celena and Janay - this SHOULD be the end of the road for you - absolutely.

The guys - Mario, just a natural and can make it to the end, but he didn't show it off enough. Bo - the man. He's fucking amazing, and I love knowing that with that style and that skill, he's guaranteed a real future in music whether or not he wins this contest. Constanine - GO HOME. I'm sorry, but I don't think he's hot, and his performance was absolutely terrible. TERRIBLE. GET OUT. David - seems like such a good guy, but something is missing there too. Terrible clothes. He's got the voice, but he hasn't found his sound. Joseph - really amazing voice, but not an Idol. I can't put my finger on what he's missing. He's doing the best he can. He's just missing that something that makes you a Kelly Clarkson. Nikko - can't even remember him. Scott - I actually didn't like his song. Amazing voice as well, but I think he's missing a certain element of like-ability. He's isolated. I think he loves to sing, but he doesn't want to embrace the world as an American Idol and I don't see the world embracing him. Anthony - obviously talented, but I feel like he should be hanging out with Josh Groban. I could be wrong...I need to see more. Travis - I don't know. Is vocally too weak to win it or even come in the top 5.

It's up in Announcements, but I wanted to let you know I posted a new Completed Thought called Frequently Asked Questions. It's just the typical questions about the show way the fuck back when that people still seem to want the answers to as I am emailed everyday about them. Though I feel like it's not that interesting - strike that - not interesting at all, I guess I'm wrong. So, please go there if you have any questions you want to ask me because chances are - the answers are there.

The Bachelorette: Let me begin by saying that I don't watch the show. I'm just not into it. However, I watched the ending, and I have my opinions. People are being too fucking hard on the Jen girl. I actually don't think she's doing this all for fame and money, though they were perks. I think it's a woman who received a golden opportunity that unfortunately came in the package of being the rest of the world's business. She had a network weed out thousands of men to come up with a cornucopia of brilliant options from all walks of life. She thought these guys would have to be amazing, and they probably were, but this chick learned a valuable lesson, and she had the balls to really accept that lesson even if the rest of the world would give her shit about it: That it doesn't matter how good-looking, how successful, how well-traveled, how wealthy, how educated, how kind, even how generous or unique another person is - you don't choose who you love, you just love. Some bitch in the studio audience said, "Jen, what IS it going to take??" Fuck her. You know what it'll take? Meeting the right guy, and none of them were it. That's one smart girl, that Jen.

Allow me to segue this into a discussion of couples - I hate hearing about how "obvious" people think break-ups are - people assume that Brad left Jennifer because he's better looking, because he could get someone prettier. That makes me sick. People think there's something wrong with Heidi Klum because Seal isn't hot enough. What the hell is wrong with people that they think American-Hot-People meters are what measure the quality of the person. Now, I like to assume that Brad is a great guy and so is she. Let's just discuss a hypothetical - what if Jennifer is a really amazing, down-to-earth chick and Brad is a bit of a prick. If you loved her, if you were a member of her family, would you look at Brad and say, "Well, Jen, you can't leave him because he's so hot, and you can't do better"??? The person for you is the person for you, and you can't decide who that will be using logical. Seal makes Heidi happy, happier than anyone has ever made her - happy enough that she chose to get married to him over any other man. To me, this doesn't mean that she couldn't do better, it means she did the best. He makes her happy. What is better than that? A man who doesn't but lacks a scar? Fucking bullshit.

Okay, that's long enough. Talk to you later.