If you even KNEW how long it just took me to set up this fucking website so that I could post a new entry, you'd understand why there may be such huge gaps between my entries. Unbelievable.

Anyway, hi. How are you? Doin' okay. I'm currently sitting here after work wondering why I have not yet taken off this bra that was once so comfortable and has managed to become the bain of my existence recently. I'm also waiting for my liquid gel ultimate Drano to kick in. Though I don't have hair to spare, a lot still goes into the drain. Please don't send me emails now asking if my hair is all falling out - it's just the typical girl amount of hair in the drain. I cleaned out as much as I could by hand (and it was possibly one of the most revolting experiences I've had), but my damn drain is clogged down deep. Now when I shower, I end up standing in a tub full of water up to my shins. Then it takes about 4 hours to go down leaving disgusting hair and soap residue all over the tub. Did you know that the directions say to pour the ENTIRE BOTTLE of Drano into the drain? I had no idea. Seems like a lot. It's kind of expensive too. I'm already feeling giddy thinking that it may actually work; however, I'm sure that it won't because it seems too easy.

Working out - going...okay. Good weeks and bad. Still not seeing any major improvement. Maybe I should go back to doing door to door for a month or two to get back to my slim state. I'm ready to be thin again, but this time I'm going to be jacked. That's the plan, anyhow. It's not going too well. I have about a month and half before I'm side by side with my Fitness Magazine-esque sister in a bikini, and I'm hoping not be referred to as "the fat one." Though I go back and forth, I'm nearly positive that dieting is out of the question seeing as eating makes me happier than any man or friend in my life. Eating is just a gift, and I treasure it dearly.

I know I've discussed this a million times, but I had another happy adult moment. On my way home from work, I ran a couple errands. As I got out of my car, I grabbed my purse, my dry-cleaning, and my Rite Aid bag filled with Whitening Listerine, Intuition razors, Drano, toilet paper, and Clorox Bleach spray, and I felt like such a grown-up. I know it's strange to take pleasure in a moment that stupid, but I did.

I need a dog. A cat would be fine too. It's really starting to ache inside me now. I'm pretty happy, but I think about the absolute joy I would feel if I came into my home and had a pet run up to me, happy to see me, loving me unconditionally. I think my heart would actually break from love, and I just don't know how much longer I can wait. Well, it'll be awhile seeing as I live in an apartment and pets aren't allowed. Also, taking care of animals - I just don't know if I trust myself just yet, but I'm DYING to have it. Beginning stages of maternal yearnings, I'm thinking. No where NEAR ready for marriage and kids. In fact, I'm embracing the life I have now. I love living alone more than anything. I love that my apartment is a complete mess and there isn't a person in the world allowed to give me any shit for it. Yeah, I need to clean it because it's just gross, but it's MY grossness.

I HATE that I sort of want to see Mr. and Mrs. Smith because I feel like it's a betrayal to Jennifer, and I feel like it's supporting the Brad becoming such a fucking Hollywood cliche. This is all assuming anything we read about is true.

Okay, I need to clean and get my lard ass to the gym. Later!