Cardio, I hate you.

Here are the reasons - firstly, it hurts physically. It's painful. My heart's pounding, I'm sweaty, I'm tired, and I keep imagining that I'm going to step a little too far to the side and off the treadmill, and then fall really hard on my face - crack my teeth on the ground, shoot off the side and slam into the wall. I hate cardio because I know it's important, and I know it's the key to my getting into the shape I want to get into. I hate that I need cardio. But the worst part about cardio is that I hate the internal mental battle that goes on in my head. It's a fight - a war of will.

"Okay, it's too much. You did 30 seconds at this speed, that's fine."
"NOOO! Just fucking FINISH the minute. It's just a minute! You can't do a minute??"
"But this is bullshit, and it really won't make that big of a difference. Okay, just to 45 seconds at this speed, and it's fine."
"No, damn it! If you can do 45 seconds, then you can do the whole minute!"

It's like that over and over, and that's the most exhausting part. There was a great commercial once. Don't know what it was for - sneakers? Two versions of this one woman. The one that pushed herself that extra step, and the other one that is working out, but not as hard as she can. One's stomach is toned. The other is just a little mushy. She's yelling at herself, forcing herself to work harder. I LOVE that commercial. I need a twin version of me all jacked to workout next to me, show me what I can be.

You know what gets me to the gym? My favorite part - the bike ride to and from. I LOVE my bike. I LOVE riding my bike. If I had to get in my car, drive it to the gym, sit in lights, find a parking space, then have to wait in line to get out of the garage when I leave and search for a parking space when I got home, I wouldn't do it. Biking is the best ever.

So, things have been rough recently. It's work. Just rough. Rough patch for all of us over there. Business is great, but our product is hurting. Honestly, after that whole fiasco with the restaurant a couple years back, I can't talk about work too much - not in detail. That sucks because I would love to talk about it more. Bitch about it. Oh well.

Have I told you how much I love House? It's my favorite show on TV. I don't even understand half the things they say because the medical dialogue is so heavy, but I love it. I hated the actor who played House in the first couple episodes I watched, but now I just LOVE him. I love the way he plays this character, and I love the character. I'm fascinated with the show on so many levels. Firstly, there is so much information. Too much. How can anyone possibly absorb that much information to become a doctor? There are so many details and variables? How can they fit that much in their brains? I find it amazing.

I have to run.