I almost threw up this morning. NO idea what was wrong. No preggers, so don't suggest it. Just felt sick out of thin air. I don't get sick. I haven't in a long time. I was sort of sick a little over a year ago, but it's been years since I was so sick I stopped functioning. It was terrible. It was just 10 minutes, but it was terrible. I felt this wave come over me, and all of a sudden I was in cold sweats. I had to talk myself out of it. "You're fine, you're fine. Don't worry. It'll go away. You're fine." For some reason, sitting in a chair or lying down on a bed can't make you feel better when you feel like this. You have to sit or lie down on a bathroom floor. It's the safety zone. It's cool, hard - feels solid. And you're next to the toilet. You don't have to worry about where the puke will go. You're in the safest place you can be, and you instantly feel better. I did.

I love Everybody Loves Raymond. I think only me, my family, and Katie love Debra. Everyone else thinks she's a whiny, evil bitch, and I think she's wonderful. Firstly, she's fucking hilarious. She's the best screamer ever. I agree with her about 97% of the time. You can see that she loves Raymond, and she just wants him to love her back. She gets frustrated and upset when she feels under appreciated. I love Raymond. I think he's hilarious. I hate the kids. I don't care about them at all, and I don't understand why they cast blondes. This show is on all the time, and I can't get enough of it. Oh, you know what else I like? The woman who plays Amy. She's married to the creator of it, or something. Married to someone important in it. So, you'd think that she'd be a weak link because she had a connection...like Donna on 90210. Amy's great. She's awkward, and she delivers every line with everything she's got.

Oh, I saw The Island over the weekend. I swore I would hate Scarlet Johanson, but I just couldn't in this movie. I LOVE this movie. It's a ridiculous amount of over-the-top action, but I didn't care. I just went with it. The concept, the effects, the acting, the visuals, the sounds, the writing - I think it was amazing. I didn't want it to end. I could have gone for another 2 hours.

So, I'm watching Sex and the City, which means I'm thinking. Carrie and the Russian. Brings up an interesting and horrible that I've been fortunate enough to not have found myself in as of yet. What do you do when someone you love is making an important decision to be with someone you hate - someone that is not good for them, and not for selfish reasons? We all know that we're blinded by our own relationships. We can't always see what's really happening. We lose ourselves so much that we're brainwashed. It's like my door-to-door job. You're working all the time. You work 6, sometimes 7 days a week, and it's fight. They encourage that you live with your coworkers. They try to get you to spend your small amount of free time with your managers so they can constantly keep you focused on the job. You believe in it because it becomes the only thing in your life. Everyone else tells you to get out, but all of a sudden, it's all you know. I remember a couple Sundays really thinking about what it was that I was doing, and I started to realize it was crazy, but it was Monday morning soon enough, and I would go back to not only performing the rituals, but taking innocent interviewees who were just trying to get a good job, and talking them into living the terrible life I was leading. Sure, I learned amazing lessons about work ethic, about sales, about people-skills - but I was blinded to what I was doing because I was too inside of it. Relationships can be the same way.

Sometimes people can't see that they're in a bad relationship. It's fine to be in one. In fact, I encourage that you are in many because it makes us know what we need, what we love. We learn amazing lessons. We meet amazing people. Sometimes we move on to find greater things. Sometimes we realize what we left behind was the greatest of all, but found too soon. Sometimes, it's a little bit of all of it. But what about the friends you have that are trapped into a world that keeps their eyes shut, and you NEED them to get out because you can't sit there and watch them ruin themselves. God, being a parent must be impossible.

I can't imagine that one day, I'm going to watch my kids go through the same fears, heartaches, sadness, and misery that we all have to go through. It's terrifying to think that I'm going to have to let them make mistakes when all I want is for them to be happy every single day. I'm digressing...

When you grow up, you unfortunately learn that certain boundaries cannot be crossed. All of a sudden, you can't ask people what they make anymore, especially when they're proud of it. If you see someone screaming at a child, you can't tell them to stop. These strange pieces of etiquette just arrive at your doorstep, and you have no choice but to accept them. So, how do you tell a friend who's being treated like shit that they're being a fucking asshole for staying with him or her?

I'm watching this episode when the Russian is not nice to Carrie's friends. Deal-breaker. Right there. If someone didn't treat my friends and family right, that would be the end of it right there.

I'm exhausted. Bed time.