Emily is uncomfortable with there being sexy girls in bikini tops around her boyfriend. She says: "There's that weak spot, there's that jealous bone, there's a small part of me that feels vulnerable." Yeah, okay, I understand if you're in one of those relationships that aren't very serious or exclusive, or even if it's at the beginning of relationship when you don't know where the loyalties are, but they've been together for over a year. That just bothers me right there. I cannot imagine being paranoid because there are girls around my boyfriend. How can you be in a relationship when you're afraid of you boyfriend checking out other girls all the time, especially while you're RIGHT THERE??!! Okay, maybe it would be a little unnerving for your boyfriend to be around beautiful women all day and all night when you're not around, but you're sitting on his lap. What's the problem? Trust, Em. It's all about trust.

So, they came out in the open about that whole James/Veronica thing, huh? I was SO surprised to see that. I thought they would leave that detail out. I know why Melissa talked about it on camera. I believe I talked about it as well. I was surprised, however, to see Ayanna talking about it. It doesn't seem like her to tell other people's business, especially if it works in Veronica's favor. Didn't they have it out on their Road Rules? Well, it's out, so here's the deal: James helped Veronica move into her apartment. I THINK what happened then was James tried to go a little farther than Veronica wanted to, so Veronica stopped him and he was pissed about it. Could be wrong, but I THINK this is what I remember hearing. Anyway, this was before James and Emily got together. I heard it was JUST before they got together, so maybe Emily and James were in some sort of dating period. That would explain the tension.

Now, I know Emily is coming off as a psycho bitch, and I have to say that I do disagree with how she has handled everything so far, but I will say in her defense that it must be really hard to be around the girl that hooked up with your boyfriend as you and him were getting together (if that was the case.) Doesn't mean you sabotage the person, but it must be hard. Now, this could be James's fault here. He may not have been very reassuring to Emily. Most often, a person's feeling of jealous exists because the partner allows that feeling to exist. Maybe he DID check Veronica out here and there while they were together. Maybe he never told Emily that he thought she was so much more beautiful than Veronica (something you say whether or not you believe it.) Who knows. I DO know; however, that James congratulated Veronica after her ladder climb, and Emily had a hissy fit about it. Maybe it is Emily's fault. Who's to say? Whose business is it anyway?

Ladder Mission. That ladder was really high. They just painted that damn thing, so we were getting paint all over our hands, which was scary. Now, this ladder does not go straight up. It's slanted and tilted out, alternated which way it slants and which way it tilts. So, one ladder is going up to the right, slanted forward (like you're going to fall off), then the next will be leaning left, slanted back, so it's like a bridge (that part was easier). Now, can you see how much equipment we have on us? We have all those safety harnesses, which seriously cut off a lot of your ability to move, then there's the head cam that has a battery pack weighing what feels like 10 extra pounds on your back.

Let's think about this. There is a reason why there are more male fire fighters out there than women. This is an extremely physical sport. Most of the guys were able to go two steps at a time, where we could not. Really, outside of this mission, if I asked you, "Who can race up tall ladders faster, men or women?" Who would you say?

Of course, there are always exceptions. Example: Ruthie. Ruthie is NOT normal though, and I'm serious. That girl is better than great at everything she tries. She has mastered self-control. She KNOWS how to address her limits and push beyond them. She KNOWS what it's like to fight. We all have some internal instincts. If they've never been challenged, then we don't know what we are capable. We just listen to what makes our bodies more comfortable. So, when you're really high up, your body thinks it's going to fall, so you hesitate. You slow down, you are cautious. It's called survival instinct. However, you can survive when you push yourself. But sometimes, you don't know that you CAN push yourself. Ruthie is a fighter with a fighter spirit. She's had a lot of battles her life. That girl KNOWS how to overcome. Physical challenges are rarely about physical ability. It's all about your mind. It's all about concentration. Men are physically stronger than women, and that's not prejudice, it's scientific fact. However, it IS possible to push yourself past the typical female limits. Ruthie knows how to do that. I am only just learning, if I'm really learning at all. If I'm up high, I'm taking it slow. It takes a lot of mental work to tell your brain that even though you're THAT HIGH UP, you're not going to fall. That safety line is attached to you, but it's difficult to trust it. Your brain says, "Fuck that, who knows what's going on with that safety line. Hold on for your goddamn life!" Trusting in that line so that you push yourself up a 8-story slanted/tilted ladder? Just not easy to do.

The order is all messed up here as usual. Ellen had gone first. Then Ruthie, the Jedi Warrior. Melissa went before me, and that was a hysterical time. She was SO scared. I was on the ground waiting to go, trying to talk her through it, but that girl would not climb. She pushed and pushed, but she only made it to the bottom of the second ladder, and she wailed for help.

Veronica does really well. She's good at this shit. She really is. If you ask me, Veronica is one of the best competitors on this team.

Ayanna does surprisingly bad. None of us know what the hell was going on there. We thought she's sprint up that thing without a problem. She claims that she started on the wrong foot. Weird.

I like the clips of everyone getting alone. Like Jamie and Melissa wishing each other luck, Anne saying good job to Blair, Genesis congratulating Shane. I love that stuff.

Yeah, Shane claimed to have a fear of heights. I told him that I think he lies because he handles heights without a problem. He says he overcame his fear on his Road Rules.

We lost again. great.

Are we noticing that I'm in fourth place? How is it that I'm doing this well? It's weird, isn't it?

Okay, editing board? What's with the bloody Jamaica shots? This scary music, and then the beaches turning red? Wow. Why don't they just air brush some horns onto Emily's forehead. You think that'll get the idea across? I guess that bloody ax she's climbing for wasn't quite clear enough for good 'ol BMP.

Okay, Emily says that Veronica is really "mean." Let's look at this, shall we? Who's left? Ruthie, Ellen, Emily, me, Melissa, Veronica, Genesis, Anne, and Ayanna. Emily says that Veronica is not mean to Melissa or me. Ruthie and Ellen are only hearing this for the first time, which means they don't think Veronica's mean. Veronica doesn't think she's mean. So now, Ruthie, Ellen, me, Melissa, and Veronica all do NOT think that Veronica is mean. We're left with Emily, Anne, Genesis, and Ayanna. Four to five. Ayanna and Veronica have history, and I don't even know if that tension is still there. Genesis and Ruthie are inseparable. Ruthie would KNOW if Genesis hated Veronica. We all know that Emily has issues with Veronica because of James. So, really, Anne is the only one Veronica must be mean to...at least of the people who are left. How is the grounds for kicking out a strong competitor? Ruthie and Ellen weren't thinking clearly here. They were manipulated, absolutely. Veronica's voting off was a bad decision, and the entire inner circle is to blame.

The announcement: Emily's smirk that she keeps that entire time in front is really nauseating. I mean truly. I think Veronica's reaction was extremely mature and appropriate. She was treated unfairly, she acknowledges it, she expresses it calmly, but honestly. Really tense moment when she looks into Ruthie's eyes while she tells her that she's shocked and disappointed. Ellen doesn't even look up. I mean, what does this say? When you're going into something feeling like you've made a mistake, you probably have.

Jamie hands over the ion. This is the ONLY chance to make this stupid part of the game worth ANYTHING at all. Sure, the rules state that the ion winner must be announced before the inner circle, but Johnny made the mistake. It's like when you find something in a store that has been mismarked for much less. It's the store's mistake, and you get to buy it for that wrong, cheaper price. Johnny messed up, Veronica shouldn't be the one to suffer. However, if Jamie just said, "Veronica, here ya go," there would be nothing they could do about it, but he ANNOUNCED that he planned on giving it to Blair, so the problem had been presented. Let me tell you what I DO know as a FACT: Every single person was just fine with Jamie giving the ion to Veronica. EVERYONE but two people: James and Emily. They were running up to the producer screaming that it wasn't fair, and no way, and fuck that. A large majority of us were fighting for Veronica. On top of that, we were reminding production that it would make the show MUCH more interesting if they left Veronica on. For ratings alone, I was sure they would bend and let her stay, but alas, they sent her home. Bad move.

Emily gives herself credit, declaring how it takes balls to look someone in the face and tell them they have to go because they're not pulling their weight. What? What the hell are you talking about? Veronica isn't pulling her weight?

I don't know. Whatever. There isn't much more to say on this.