What you are seeing are some sporadic clips of us at some popular tourist club. Shit, I don't remember the name of it. Well, some place that we thought we'd get loaded up on margaritas and pina coladas...much like we did at the resort, but anything outside the resort is fun because we are stuck there all damn day and night. We got a free dinner on production, but they limited what we could order and wouldn't let us get anything other than beer, I think, so we were a little disappointed with our "treat" from BMP. Either way, we went downstairs and danced our asses off. That was really important night for me. I looked around at all of us who were left, and we were all dancing and laughing - it didn't feel like Real World. Didn't feel like a Challenge. I looked around and thought, "These are my friends. These aren't 'castmembers,' they're friends." It was a nice night. It just felt more "real" than any other time I was there.

I didn't know Shane was that upset to be there. I had NO idea that he was planning on leaving. I mean, who didn't want to leave? I just didn't know he was deciding on it so matter-of-factly.

Spidermon. Get it? It's not SpidermAn because we're in Jamaica. So, it's SpiderMON. I love Melissa's obviously sarcastic enthusiasm over the kayak. WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT A KAYAK??? Actually, Shane did. Isn't that weird? He said something to me about always wanting a kayak. Didn't that just work out perfectly?

Okay, so Ellen goes first of the girls. One of the funniest things I've ever seen. We were cracking up because we didn't know what it was even going to look like doing this mission, and as we watched Ellen climb up the net, we realized exactly HOW MUCH it looks like a spider crawling up a web. Eerily so. So, she's scrambling. She goes pretty damn fast, I was impressed. It also led me to believe that it was easier to do than it was. Anyway, the doll's head is between her legs. I'm sorry, but that's hysterical. It was a hardy laugh.

I didn't go second, I don't think, but we'll just go with it because that's how it goes on the show. Scary. Nothing scarier. Well, no there are things that are scarier, but at that moment, I couldn't think of any. It's about a half an hour between two people going. It takes FOREVER. Luckily, it was sunny all morning, so I was VERY tan by the end of this mission.

So, I'm just terrified. The safety people strap you up into a million little harnesses, and they explain them all to you. You really want to pay attention, but you're so worried about not remembering what they tell you that you can hardly pay attention. "This red one, you don't want to pull. When you are hanging there, you pull this piece off, put it anywhere, then loosen this string, and hold onto that ready to pull. If that doesn't work, then hold this one, but only AFTER you release the safety line so that you can fall." They explain it better than that, but they might as well be explaining it that poorly because that's how clear it seems. So, you climb over the ledge. Nightmare. It doesn't make ANY sense at all to do this. Your body, your mind, everything says, "GET BACK ON THE BALCONY!!!" So, I climb over, I let go, I cannot think of a thing to do but scream obscenities. So, I'm cursing my HEAD off. "FUCK, OH FUCK, I'm SO FUCKING SCARED, SHIT, SHIT! MOTHERFUCKER, AHHHHHH!!!" The balconies are all filled with families and kids on their vacations, and I apologized to them over and over, but I also explained that I HAD to curse. That if there were EVER a good time to scream out FUCK in public, this would be it. Two boys on one of the balconies made me a sign. I was so flattered. Didn't know anyone watched my season.

They countdown, and I pull the thing that's supposed to make us drop, but I didn't pull hard enough, so I was still hanging after Eric went. Then I pull, and the rope they used for ME was too long. I fell MUCH farther and much faster than everyone else. I'm glad that you can see how hard I hit that wall of net. I slammed against it, and I had no idea I would repel from it like I did. I thought you just fall into it and start climbing. Who knew that if you don't hold on, you go flying off it? I didn't think about it, I just had one hand wrapped around a rope on the net, and I watched my shoes fly into the air. Now, this rope is not stiff, AT ALL. Because it is so loose, there is nothing to push against. Think of climbing a ladder, as you reach up and take a step, you are leaning back, and pushing against the ladder. When you're climbing this net - there is nothing to push against. You reach up an arm, your legs push against the net, the net moves forward, you're practically horizontal in the air now. This is NOT like the nets at amusement parks. It is totally loose. So, this takes ALL neck and arm strength. Basically, if you can't do pull-ups, you can't pull yourself up this net. Who has better neck and arm strength - men or women? Hmmm...

As we sat around the beach waiting for each person to go, the guys were very sympathetic. They agreed that all these missions have been favoring guys, and I really appreciated them saying that rather than telling us we are just bitching.

Okay, so climbing down the net is harder than climbing up. I don't even know how I did it then and I don't know if I'd know how to do it if I did it again. Emily was on the balcony yelling encouragement. I was laughing. I knew I was scared shitless, but this was one of the first times I was having a LOT of fun during the mission. I wasn't worried about getting voted off, and I wasn't worried about beating Emily out. I was just having a great time. I wanted to do the best I could, and this situation was so hysterical, I just laughed. I couldn't even get off of the net once I finally got to the bottom. This was my favorite mission.

I took them a long time to decide if Eric was getting disqualified. I had to wait on the roof while they figured it out. That part was annoying. Poor guy. He seems to always try to do things the fastest without being careful.

Anyway, I KNOW that my turn was unfair because after I went, they spent practically an hour fixing the rope on our side so the person didn't fall as far. My back was sore for two days.

It's weird that they have Shane saying, "I'm sick of this place," and then a clip of us all dancing and having a great time.

Poor Genesis. She tried so hard, and show was so upset when she dropped the guy.

I remember there were some fans of the show at that resort where we had that mission. There was this one SUPER annoying bitch that had her video camera and kept coming around video taping us and bothering us. She was just being really rude to us, not even interested. As in, she kept taking pictures and being up our asses while saying insulting things like she didn't give a shit about us anyway. We're like, "Fine, then go away." Then this chick says something really mean about Ruthie in front of Anne. Anne WENT OFF on her, telling her to never EVER say another fucking thing about Ruthie like that again and that she doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about. Ruthie is so positive and kind. Fucked up to say something negative about her, especially in front of her friends. Some people are so stupid. They think they can insult us or our friends because they think they fucking know us. Anne rocks. Way to defend a friend.

Ruthie is one of the fastest at this mission. Did I tell you? She's not human. She's a Jedi.

Antoine is fucking hysterical. I love that he is talking to the doll. "Now, you stay with me, girl." Now, when we're doing this, we don't realize that we have a mic on because we're not thinking about it. That's why it's REALLY funny when you find people talking like that.

The inner circle. Go Genesis is ready to go, and Shane saves her. I was upset about this, and I DO love Genesis. I didn't want her to go, but Anne was my best friend there at the time, and I thought I still had the whole weekend with her. I just felt so normal around her. We made each other laugh a lot. I didn't want her to go. So, though I know Shane had his heart in the right place - I resented him for it.

I cried all night. I went down to the bar with everyone else, and I just put my head down on the bar and cried. Emily rubbed my back and asked if I was sad about Anne. I nodded, and she talked to me for a while about it. THIS is one of the few personal encounters I had with Emily. THIS is why I believed Emily was a really nice girl. She was ALWAYS really nice to me. It's hard to see her act so maliciously towards other people.

Next week, lame LAME mission. Interesting twist to things.