Me and Ruthie are talking.

I know the whole conversation, so I think I see it differently than you might. If you look at it one way, it seems like I'm just trashing the guys. I'm not trashing the guys - not those guys. I AM talking about the difference between men and women though, and everything I've say on this episode I've written about here. Men are dare devils by nature. Growing up, I've seen boys do things that are just ridiculous, that risk their lives, and it just seems to be a guy thing to do - to test limits and not really worry. Not be sensibly and reasonably afraid when maybe they should be a little. Look at Jackass. I mean, guys like this don't worry about hurting themselves or falling from some crazy height. Those guys in Jackass along with MANY guys out there in the world will do crazy shit (which girls will call "stupid"), and they'll do it WITHOUT being strapped to some safety line. These guys are all in their harnesses, they don't think about falling. Not for one second. Me, on the other hand, if I'm doing something scary, I will be SCARED. So, it's not that I'm being a sore sport. Quite the opposite. I know that the last mission we lost without any excuse to blame it on it being unfair. The girls COULD have one that one, but we just didn't. Ruthie was feeling bad, feeling like we were giving a bad impression on the world - that women have no power. I was talking to her about women's strengths because our strengths are not easy to show via missions. I've talked to you about this too. I will once again suggest seeing Science of the Sexes on Discovery.

The guys not even being worried: the classical music with Mark and Antoine at tea time. It actually is tea time by the way. They had an amazing tea time at the restaurant every day with free tea, coffee, and pastries. Ruthie being the only real competitor ...I don't know how much I can argue that. Ellen is tough, and I've had my moments, but no one is the Jedi Warrior but Ruthie.

Okay, so everything you see is out of order. This time - REALLY out of order.

This mission did take three days to complete, that was right. You can't really tell, but the mission takes place in two different locations. I'm not even sure how to explain it all because it's so out of order.

Okay, so, when they first announce the car as the prize, we are wearing all different colors, and it's extremely windy. This is the first day, this is as the clouds are rolling in. It's taking place at the highest point in the resort, on top of a hill. The crane is gigantic, and it is over 150ft in the air. We are blindfolded as Ruthie and Mark suit up. THEY are the first to go, not the last (but how would that be good TV to show Ruthie going first on this one?). We listen as they take them up on the crane. That thing takes FOREVER because this mission is twice as high as any of our other missions. Ruthie later told me that she was scared. Goddamn that was high up. Once they reach the top, we hear lightening, and the safety crew says that we cannot continue with the mission. It is expected to rain all night. It is postponed until tomorrow. Ruthie and Mark are then lowered down, and the director does not let us hang out with them the whole night because he doesn't want us talking to them about how high it was, how it felt, nothing.

What YOU are seeing; however, is Jamie and Ellen going first, or about to go first. Jamie and Ellen go second on the third day at the second location. You following me? Actually, what you see first is Jamie and Ellen about to go on the third day as if it's the first day and as though NO ONE went on the first day. What really happened is EVERYONE went on the third day.

This is spliced with a shot of all the girls in red talking about who we've lost a million missions and I say I want to see the look on the guys faces when they lose. THIS interview was taken at sunrise on the third day (the day we all actually do the mission), and the reason WHY it is at sunrise is because since the mission was postponed three days, THIS mission had to take place on the SAME DAY as the final mission. Yes, next episode is only later that afternoon. Can you IMAGINE that?

I would also like to point out...in case you haven't noticed, that there are all Asian girls left. They asked us about it in interviews, but it never made the show. Yes, we have Melissa (half black/half Filipino), Ruthie (Hawaiian, Samoan, Filipino, and I think a few other things too), Ellen (Korean), and me (half Filipino/quarter Irish/quarter Italian). I was the TALLEST GIRL THERE!! Do you understand that that never happens? I'm 5'2" and I towered. That's fucking insane.

So, yay brown girls. Throw in Janet and Pam and we have the full set.

Okay, moving on...

The conversation with the girls all in the bedroom villa saying how we have to win - that took place before the mission began. Melissa's hair looks incredible. You have to have really thick hair for that look. my ponytails would never be that puffy.

The second day, the location has moved and the crane is different, it's much smaller. The original crane from day one, location one apparently rusted in the rain or something, and it BROKE. THIS is why we should be scared because these cranes are just breaking on us. They bring in this other one which is only something like 80 ft, big difference from the first. The second location is also at the bottom of the hill, so it doesn't look nearly as high even if we were just at 80 ft from the first location. Still with me?

Now, everyone's strategy was based off of Ruthie and Mark's performance, so I have to explain it the way it really went vs what you saw. Mark took a little while getting down. Now, it didn't seem long to us, and it really didn't seem short either because we were all blindfolded and had no idea what to expect. We didn't know how that device worked, how fast you could go, nothing. When he went, we thought it was a pretty good time. Then Ruthie went. It was awesome to see it on TV because it is ten times more impressive to see it. All we did was hear it, and it sounded beautiful. The rope makes this zipping noise. The higher the pitch, the faster you know it's going, and that's all we had to go by. When Mark went, it was what? About 20-30 seconds? Ruthie's horn blows and all you hear is, "ZZIIIIIIIIPPPPP. DONE!" All the bungee safety guys started yelling, and when the people who do that for a living are impressed, you KNOW something good just happened. We were cheering for her from our seats with our blindfolds on. It was an exciting moment. Watching it on TV, I welled up a little bit. I had to. She went so fast that the camera wasn't even ready for it. Her head whipped back - SHE wasn't even prepared to be that fast! It was brilliant.

Ruthie and Mark and had gone on the second day at the second location. The rain rolled in again, and the rest of us had to wait another day. We knew that no one could beat Ruthie's score, so we were nervous, but no where near as much. The pressure was off for the girls...for the most part. THIS is why Antoine and Jamie go so fast - because they had to throw caution to the wind to beat 4 seconds.

Ellen's hair getting stuck...that was pretty funny.

My turn. This was pretty scary. They take you up in the crane with your blindfold still on, and you don't sit ON the crane, you dangle beneath it the whole way up. So, you are literally lifted up into the sky without seeing how far, only feeling the wind, and the only security you feel are these straps your legs are in. I had to meditate to keep from freaking out, and I don't meditate. When it's finally my turn, I lose all fear. I don't know what happened, but I just took off. Getting that thing to land right on the red is REALLY hard. It's only 12 inches at the bottom that you have to catch. It was the most rewarding feeling when I finished. I don't know why, but I have to say, I was disappointed that I didn't get there a second faster. Actually, according to the time sheet, Colin and I were both within 8 to 9 seconds. Mine wasn't even nine. I was a fraction of a second behind him, and I wanted to be just a little faster so I could know that if Ruthie didn't get it, then I would. I hadn't won anything for the team, received any ion, nothing. I just wanted to feel close to being a part of it all - a contributor of some sort.

Everyone goes, it's all over, Ruthie wins us the car, and this car is parked outside my apartment as we speak. Yes, I kept my beautiful Saturn Ion, and I'm selling my old car after I fix it up a little bit. Wonderful, wonderful car. Very happy girl.

Oh, I have to acknowledge the effects on Melissa's turn. You like how they put on that freaky echo while she's screaming no? I think it's great. Freaked me out a little. It was like the Poltergeist effect, where the echo comes before they speak. The greatest: Melissa is screaming, "I hate you people!" as she goes down. Listen up next time. It's hysterical.

Inner circles go to dinner: that was a great night. We were taken in this mini van down through town, and then up this hill that was carsick central. Curved and narrow, I thought we were going to fall off this mountain. Our of no where, we pull into this driveway you can barely even see from the road, and we pull up to this house. We walk inside and there is this unbelievable restaurant with the most incredible view I've ever seen. It looked over all of Jamaica, and we had this beautiful gourmet dinner on production.

Obviously, this dinner was BEFORE the mission you saw today since after we had that mission, we changed our clothes and went right into the next one.

So, what will happen in the end? We shall see...