Malik and Kevin are coming home, and they are showing the Outkast fight between the girls that happened months ago. Then it skips to me and Coral in bed talking about Nicole and Malik. This scene happened months ago as well.

Oh no, it’s the stupid fish plot. Storyboard, what the fuck is wrong with you? You don’t go into people’s friendships, but you dedicate half an episode to the fucking fish??

Onto Malik and Mike’s parents. Katie was still visiting me still when this happened. Again, Katie was only visiting me for three days, but she’s been present for pieces of episodes since episode one.

Being that I wasn’t there for most of the events of this episode, I can’t tell you my behind the scenes of it. I can tell you that I’m pissed that Mike and Malik both said in interviews that they invited us to have dinner with their parents and we all rejected them because we don’t care and it’s too cold. That’s bullshit. Katie and I were at dinner down the street at some Chinese food place, evesdropping on the conversation going on at the table next to us because some man was very rudely breaking up with the woman he was sitting with. It was really interesting to listen to. (We also saw the dad from Family Ties there.) Anyway, Katie and I went there because we had no other plans. Then, I got a page from Kevin saying that Mike was upset that no one came to dinner with his parents. I paged Mike and apologized profusely because I didn’t know he wanted us to come to dinner. He paged back that it was all good. Then, I watch the show on TV to see Mike saying how we didn’t care about going out with his parents. That’s so not fair because that’s not what happened. Mike is notorious for changing stories around a little bit.

Same with Malik’s family. Never asked to go to dinner with them. Never told much about them. I don’t think Malik and I were hanging out much when all this happened.

They show Malik’s birthday though. Kinda bumbed because I had a birthday too, and they didn’t show it. Oly, Amy, and my friend Mike Fasano were all in town and I woke up to them and Malik throwing birthday balloons all over my bed. Then I followed a trail up into the kitchen where Fasano arranged the pool balls to spell my name. There was beer and beef jerky at the end of the table. Then Amy and Oly had made us all a huge, amazing breakfast with pancakes and strawberries with whipped cream, bacon, maybe eggs too. I don’t know, but it was the nicest thing in the world. Storyboard would rather show fish than my birthday.

Then there’s a scene with me, Kevin, and Mike sitting around by the pool table and talking about Mike’s parents. Katie was here for that too, sitting in the chair next to me and Kevin. Wasn’t the biggest fan of Mike that day because he was sort of rude to Katie. Katie was leaning over the pool table when Mike came up behind her and thrusted his dick against her ass real quick as he walked by. Katie and I were both horrified. She’s like, “Um…hi. We just met.” I was embarrassed, but then I was like, “That’s Mike.” He was also really stupid about her background. When she said she was adopted, he said, “Oh, that sucks,” which is the one thing on this planet that offends her.

Oh, also about Malik’s birthday, RACHEL AND I gave him a present too. It was a shirt that said, “God is a DJ.” Oh course, they didn’t show us giving him a present because they want to continue with this brothers from other mothers bullshit. God forbid they show any girls being friends with any guys in the house.

Sad that Nicole didn’t join in. I wondered how much energy it takes to stay angry, because I can never stay angry for more than an hour.

At Malik’s birthday party, Mike pronounces is compliment gen-u-WHINE. You can hear me and Coral making fun of him. It was a joke for the rest of the night. Kevin, Coral, Malik, and I just mispronounced everything to go along with Mike’s theme.

This interview with Nicole crying is really touching to me. It’s funny that she showed more of herself to you guys than to us while we lived there. I never knew she shared so much of her true feelings in interviews because we never saw those at home.