ALMOST THERE!!!

The show begins with our bosses and Jeff presenting our final assignment. Okay, the only thing I like about this entire scene is the fact that my hair looks thick, other than that, I couldn't give a crap. Street team is not my thing, so anything that has to do with it just doesn't work for me. I hated this idea. Can we talk about it for a second? We're supposed to be selling Adema to K-Rock so that they'll play them on their radio. This type of job is usually done by one man who goes into the station, waits in line behind other people who have this same job for other record labels, then goes in to debate all the reasons why it is to the radio's benefit to play this song or that song, and then wait to see if they got the spot. Sweet Mike is there in his interview saying how honored he his to be given this responsibility. Kevin is talking about how "huge this is for Arista." Um, I love my boys, but this is so fucking stupid. No, this isn't huge for Arista because Arista does this shit all the time, and if we don't do it then someone else will. Why? Because we're not really a street team. There ALREADY IS a street team for Arista. This is our fabricated fake job they give us for the show. No offense to production of BMP. I mean, it is a job, and if Devon or Adam wanted to fire any of us, BMP would do nothing to stop them. We were paid (crap) and all that, so it wasn't just for show in that sense, but what I mean is that Arista does not need us whatsoever. The boys are all into though because they take it all very seriously. I, on the otherhand, didn't fucking care.

Oh yeah, this scene with the bosses along with the entire first try at K-Rock is all BEFORE the Hamptons.

We have a lot of work to do for this project that sucks, which includes doing a lot of research and memorizing of the history and facts of the radio station and Adema. We worked together, I can say that much, but whatever.

Coral and I are discussing the new project in the bathroom. Again, I like this scene because this is something Coral and I did all the time. We do our make-up and talk about shit in that bathroom. Also, when I say I hate the assignment, Coral asks, "Why do you hate it?" in this tone that is so uncharacteristic of her TV character, but SO the real Coral. Small detail that you probably don't even remember.

I don't like Kevin in this episode. Kevin, I love you, and I'm sorry to dog you a little here, but you seem a bit full of yourself. He works in radio now too, so he does know what he's talking about, but he still delivers it in a cocky tone.

Flash to second plotline: Nicky and Tanky song. Lots of explaining to do. The Tanky song was something that Nicky was working on for himself, NOT for Arista. He's a nice guy when an open mind and helpful heart. I wanted to sing, he gave me the opportunity. He did NOT write the lyrics, someone else did. When I heard them, I laughed my ass off. I learned those lyrics the day the guests all arrived at my house before the Hamptons. Anyway, Tanky is a word for cooter. Yup, vagina, pussy, whatever. Keep in mind that I do most things that seem like they suck because I think it's funny. As my friends from home say, I have a sense of irony about these things. When I heard I was singing about my "tanky" I thought it was funny. My roommates didn't. They thought it was stupid, but they don't share the same sense of irony. Anyway, the Tanky song was never intended to be a real song. So, for those very kind people out there who actually like the song and want a copy, it was never done. There is nothing more than a verse, and the chorus was never even completed. The PURPOSE of the Tanky song was see how I sounded on the mic, not to make the Tanky song my hit single on TRL. Okay?

Back to the Adema thing. They showed us looking pretty bad, but we all thought we did great. Adam and Devon sort of scolded us, but we disagreed. We were calm and profession, maybe that's why we didn't get the spot: not good enough TV. When we ended up not getting it, we were shocked. I was pissed. BMP had nothing to do with, but I couldn't help believe that our cameras and Real World status didn't play a part in the minds of K-Rock.

What pissed me off more was the fact that this project was now drawing into our Hamptons vacation. We were supposed to be done before we left, now we had this hanging over our heads. Mike and Kevin like good boys PRACTICED their speeches AT THE HAMPTONS. Coral and I were lying on the beach making fun of the whole assignment. We were really funny, and we thought for sure that would make the show, but it didn't.

Kevin's idea about contacting the band was a really good idea. I'll give him that.

Back to Tanky. This is after the Hamptons now. I didn't invite Coral, Mike, and Nicole to come with me, they invited themselves, which was sweet, but totally surprising. I kept that whole thing to myself really. I didn't like to talk about it because I don't often like to talk about the future of my singing that much. You probably don't believe that, but it's true. I talked about a lot on the show because those were interviews, and these directors ask those questions and bring it out of you, but if no one sat and asked me I wouldn't tell anyone a thing. I'm surprised that wasn't a topic on the show. Mike told me he would talk about that in interviews, how I would have these things going on with me that I wouldn't tell anyone about, like the Nicky thing. My family hates this about me. I just don't like when people get all excited for me sometimes. I like to keep things to myself. Anyway, when they asked what I was doing later, I told them and they all said they'd come. I didn't want them to only because I didn't want to tack on impressing them to my stresses about this recording. Mike didn't say much while we were there. He and I weren't all that close because we got into a little fight in the Hamptons. I forgot to tell you that. I was small, but heated. He was running around and almost broke something, so I yelled at him to be careful. He started provoking me, "Oh, sorry, MOM," and crap like that. We yelled and yelled and I called him a fucking frat boy (which really upsets him), and he called me a "beautiful bitch." Coral stopped us and made us both apologize. I can't stay mad for long, so I started laughing and said I was sorry, he said he was sorry, and we pecked each other on the lips. Still, I think he stayed upset with me, so it was really nice that he came to Nicky's. Nicole laughed her ass off when Mike called me that in the Hamptons. "What kind of insult is that?"

Anyway, Nicole hates that kind of music, so I tried to stop her from coming. I liked her around, but I didn't want her miserable. She LOVES the song I did with Dave (You Can't Stop), so I think she thought it was going to be like that. As for Coral, like I said on the show, her opinion is important to me, and if she thought it was stupid, I would feel stupid.

We record. Whatever, there it is. They showed the part when I went sharp, bothers me so much.

This song is not really my style, as you can see. I have an over-articulation problem That's what happens when you learn to sing through broadway musicals. Coral was more than a help. She was the only reason I got through it. Damn good friend that girl is.

Nicole left early. That's okay, she goes to bed early every night.

The walk home with Mike and Coral was SO much fun. We sang the whole way. Mike started singing opera style, Coral and I joined in. We made up an operetta along the streets of the upper east side. Another moment of good friendship lost on the dusty shelves of BMP's archives.

From Zero concert. I don't have much to say about this at all, so I won't.

Back to K-Rock. Let me see, are we going to get the spot? We went in there acting like assholes and making fun of this shit, and we fucking get the spot? Whatever. I mean, why wouldn't we? If usually it is one man walking in to discuss the song, then I'm sure the seven of us plus our bosses and then an entire camera crew filming for the second highest rated show for MTV will get us the spot. When we get the call, either most of us in the room were kidding themselves or blatantly acting. We knew we got it.

Arista party for us: it was very nice of them. It was nicest thing in the world, but I felt silly because I didn't know a lot of them. I felt bad because they work hard for the company, and I doubt any of them would get a party and a cake if they left. I just didn't think we deserved it. Nicole hated it. She sat on the side and grimaced the whole time. I know she knew it was all kind of fake, but they did all take time out to come down there, and it seemed kind of ungrateful to not smile and thank them. The look on her face said she wanted to get out of there, and I felt bad for our bosses that she so obviously didn't care.

That's it for this one. Moving on to the last episode.