Day 1

Okay, I’ve been checking the nice websites because…I can’t fucking help the curiosity. The one negative thing I heard was, “Am I the only one who doesn’t think Lori is hot?” I wasn’t offended. Yey me. He thought I was nice, but that other people were more beautiful than me. To be honest, it was a bit refreshing. I’m not the hottest person in the world. I don’t even think I’m that hot most of the time. I’m probably more cute than hot. It was nice to hear that this person said I was nice. I take those compliments more than about my looks.

I’m feeling okay about all this so far. I don’t like talking about it with my family, to be honest, but I’m feeling okay. People will be making fun of me like a son of a bitch next week and the following week once I’m such a dork about Kevin. And then I’ll be such a dork about my singing. Hey, I don’t mind too much. I mean, I do, but whatever. It’s okay. I don’t know what the fuck is about to happen, but I’m pretty sure it won’t be all that cool. It will far from cool most of the time. Honestly, the fact that anyone can say that Janet was fake proves to me that there are people out there who share NO opinions with me. I couldn’t even get over it. I was more offended by that criticism of Janet than I was about criticism toward me.

The internet is flooded today. Shit, I can even sign on for my more than five minutes without being booted off.

I’m amazed at how differently people see things. People will love Ellen, hate Ellen, love Coral, hate Coral, think I’m sweet, think nothing of me. I mean, even the taste in appearances. The computer signed off right while I was about to read something negative about me. Probably a sign, but now I have to look.

That week in Palm Springs was the most fun I had had in so long. I didn’t want to leave. It’s funny to think of people judging any of us. We all had the best time.

I’m amazed at how often I go out without makeup now. I got kicked off line again. It’s principle now. I HAVE to get online because I’m so sick of getting kicked off. It takes so damn long to sign on too. I wish my dad had fixed the damn screen downstairs. Cable modem would be nice right about now. So gonna get kicked off in a second. Here we go, ready?

People are apparently bummed that I wasn’t as hot as they were expecting. Ha, well, to each his own. Honestly, I don’t think that I was that hot on the show. I really didn’t. I’m really not that hot. I know I’m not that hot otherwise I would have been irresistible to a bunch of people in my life and I am the queen of rejectedness.

Well, as it seems, many people online are quite upset with my physical appearance. Many seem to think that I was going to be much hotter than I am and that I don’t look that great on camera. Well, it didn’t help that I was built up with a picture that looks nothing like me.