One of the most frustrating feelings in the world is when a piece of art that had moved you is hated by a group of people that surround you. I saw Vanilla Sky the other day. Obviously, I was affected because I wrote what was to me the most significant journal entry I have ever written. I find it to be so significant because it made me realize something very important about my self-image. I discovered how I really see myself versus how I pretend to see myself. I learned that maybe my philosophy of self-analysis may be flawed, this philosophy that has governed my mind for over ten years of extensive journal-keeping. Maybe this movie was not brilliant as far as films go. Maybe it wasn’t an original idea. Maybe it wasn’t the best acting ever. Fine. However, for whatever reason, after seeing that movie, I was propelled into a state of thinking that has opened my mind to the truth about myself. To me, it must be true art to have that kind of affect, and I am grateful for that movie.

Seeing a movie a second time and bringing a large group of friends is more than just seeing a movie again and having different people with you this time. When you tell people to see a movie and then they come with you, it is an invite into your interests. I’m sorry that it sounds so dramatic, and maybe it’s my phrasing that makes it sound dramatic, but I think everyone feels this way, especially anyone with an appreciate for art. Obviously, I loved the movie to see it a second time two days after the first time I saw it. To have everyone say, “That sucked,” or, “that was the worst thing I’ve ever seen,” and so on and so forth was to me a complete insult, and I was immediately offended. I have never done that to anyone else because I thought that it was an obvious courtesy. I didn’t like Legally Blond. My friend Mike loved it. Only when I was asked did I reply, “I didn’t like it as much as you did, I don’t think.” I did not say, “It sucked.” I don’t like Pearl Jam, but I would never say to my friend Kevin, “Pearl Jam sucks.” Everyone in my house in NYC knew I loved Britney Spears. I knew no one else really liked her, but no one insulted her in front of me, and they were very excited for me when Britney came on for the VMAs. Why? Because it’s fucking rude to insult someone’s taste. It’s fine to disagree, but it’s never cool to blow off or disrespect someone’s opinion on ANYTHING. It just isn’t necessary to be mean like that. Why does this even need to be stated?

It propelled me into a very bad mood, which I am now attempted to get out of. I have to clean my room. I feel like I’ve cleaned it a thousand times today, but apparently, I need to clean it again.