It just doesn't seem to end. It feels like when one thing goes bad, another one follows. Then if something goes right, something else will drag you down. It's never controlled, never simple, never easy. Not one day. I haven't had a day in weeks that passed without my watching the seconds drip to an in a gloomy puddle that is the collection of the days prior. I haven't gone to sleep feeling positive, ready for tomorrow. I haven't been very proud of myself lately, and when I do accomplish something to be proud about, someone or something won't let it last. I just wish I could be left alone. I wish life would leave me alone for one day. One good day where no one complains, no one pisses me off, no one gives me shit, nothing exhausts me, nothing breaks, nothing haunts me. I just want to wake up feeling well-rested, go through my day doing things I like to do, or that I need to do and glad I got done, and have some simple pleasantries, like nice phone calls, a good episode of Friends, and then I can go to bed feeling sleepy, having had such a simple, lovely day that I don't even think about it. One day where I don't how much shit I had to deal with. I just want a day where I have nothing to worry about, or at least one day when I don't worry about the things that worry me. I want a day to be selfish, a day where I can tell everyone to fuck off, that TODAY is a day where I plan on staying happy no matter if you like it or not. I don't want to hear anyone's problems. I don't want to hear anyone's mistakes. I don't want to hear ANYTHING. I just want to have ONE NICE DAY. God, it seems absolutely impossible. I don't want to feel guilty, I don't want to apologize, I don't want to care. I want to care about me, I want to enjoy me, I want to not beat the shit out of me until someone comes by to do it for me. I want one day where I don't have to deal with anyone else's impatience, sarcasm, disinterest, ignorance, insensitivity. I want one day where NO ONE puts me in the position where I have to stop smiling. I want to laugh and smile for a whole day. I want to have ONE GOOD dream. I need a fucking break, and I'm only asking for one day. So, when that day is over and the insults resume, the lack of career stares at me blankly, the stupid job waits for me to attend, and the computer takes ten minutes to open up internet explorer; I can at LEAST remember what it was like to have a great day.