I usually hate forwards. I want to change that to "always" rather than "usually" because every time I receive one, I'm pissed off that whoever sent it doesn't know by now how much I hate getting them. One in a thousand are actually worth getting, but I usually don't care. When I receive one that says, "I never usually send forwards, but you have to read this," I'm STILL pissed, and no matter who sent it, I won't read it. Maybe if they tricked me by changing the subject so that it doesn't have "fw:" on it, and deleted all the other crap so I don't have to scroll down about 50K before I get to the one sentence or paragraph that has come THIS highly recommended that I was sent this crap DESPITE of my threats about forwards, I would read and enjoy it. Why I didn't delete this one right away is a mystery to me, but I saw the title "Being 20 Something" after a very short scroll, and I had to read it. I was quite pleased with it because of its accuracy. I know I've written about it a million times, and this whole website has been based on this topic over the past year, but I'm always interested in other people's writings on it as well. It's pretty straight-forward, and it's something we've all discussed and experienced. It's something we heard about when we were younger. Very few can escape this miserable phase of life, and we all know it's coming, even if we're sick of school or THINK we're ready to take on the real world. Don't say it, it's not funny. We're not talking about the damn show right now. Well, I thought this was worthy of posting onto my site, so a big thanks to Lauren Klein for forwarding it to me. (This does not mean I want anymore forwards though.)

This was written by Brenda Della Casa.


"Being 20 Something:

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or sincere, but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job...and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You
laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself.....and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out."

Now, people always tell us to cling to our 20s (just as we tell everyone else younger than us to cling to whatever age that is). They tell us that this is the time when we are developed. Our skin has cleared, our baby fat has melted away, hopefully we realized how stupid it is to drink so much beer, so our beer guts have shrunk, we are wearing more sophisticated clothes, everything on our body is still perky and tight with a 20-something glow. 30-somethings are always jealous of our look, but never envious of our indecisiveness. This is supposedly the time that we are still filled with motivation, excitement about life, dreams of becoming everything we hope to become. We have not been completely warn down yet by repeated disappointment, and accomplishing goals is terrifying, but still possible (in our eyes). We know we're still young. We spend our childhoods trying to grow up, spend our later lives trying to remain young. I think the 20-somethings are the years where Goldilocks would consider to be "just right," in a lot of respects.

Still, the Quarter-Life Crisis seems inevitable. We all seem to be a bit scared no matter what we do, and what's even more terrifying is that we're starting to realize that this fear we're experiencing doesn't end. This is the beginning of being afraid about everything and for everyone. This doesn't mean that our lives our ruined, but it means that happiness is not something we can achieve like we thought. We thought we could get a job, get a spouse, have a kid or two, get a house with a lawn, and then it would be done. We'd fall into a routine that we liked, and we would remain completely fulfilled. I have to admit, though I know it's stupid, I still actually believe this with my whole heart. My brain knows better, but my heart thinks that there will be day that comes that I will stop worrying, and I will spend 50 years after that feeling pretty damn good about my life. I think this separation between brain and heart is the essence of being 20-something. It is finally knowing something, but not choosing to believe it...not just yet. I can't decide if that's beautiful or hideous.